American Idol: Grand Ol' Opry

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I am eagerly awaiting another round! My Idol boredom has vanished now that Adam Lambert has entered my life. I can't stand country music, but my internet browsing tells me Adam will rock my socks off tonight! Ryan can shut up now - lets see my boy!! Ooh - saw him! *swoons*

1. Michael Sarver. Ain't Going Down 'Til the Sun Comes Up. Too many words - he's losing his breath. He's just mediocre over all for me. I don't even know what the freaking words are. Nice one note song here ... I don't get why people pick songs with mostly one single note over and over. Honestly, he could have messed up the lyrics - would we even notice??

* Simon's review was 100% on point! I think Simon was listening to me! *

2. Alison Iraheta. (I am giving up on the titles!). I would love to hear her voice when she is 40. She already sounds older than me. Ugh. I'm with Simon .... country is PAINFUL! I can't even review this. She has too many hand motions to match her words. Oh good, its over. I have nothing to say. I'm just not a country fan!

* Oh f**k! I am so sick of the "You could sing the alphabet/phone book" nonsense. Get some new phrases, will ya? *

* Paula is way coherent compared to last year. I wonder if she feels competition to keep up with Kara? *

3. Kris Allen. He rocked before, hope he does again. Dude - Randy Travis is scary looking! Never heard this song either. So far I am enjoying this. Ballads and non-nasal non-twang are much more enjoyable for my ears. Ooh - echo-echo. Ha! I called that falsetto at the end. I KNEW he'd do it! Nice performance.

* Paula looks much better this week than last week. Simon's NOT in black. I like this kid; glad they are praising him. Oh gosh, is that a silver top on Kara? WTF is that?? *

4. Lil Rounds. I hate that country music just sounds like someone telling a boring story. Oh she does that thing with her ssss's. I don't know how to describe it. Almost an 'sh' sound to it. Go Lil. Yell at us. It wouldn't be you if you didn't scream at us. What? I can't hear you. Can you shout louder? I like her eye shadow tonight. Her dress? No. It wasn't horrible - I am not her fan - can you tell?

* I think Kara is pretty. I wish she'd switch tops. *
* I love Simon!! "Little" He is so rad! *
* I wonder if she's hiding anything in the opening cubby of that dress. *

YES!!!!! Adam's up next! Woo freaking hoo! And yeah - I actually "woo'd" loudly in my living room when they showed him. Ya got a problem with that?? He completes me.

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5. ADAM LAMBERT. (Ring of Fire) Ooh - check out the chest. Out and proud! You rock my world!! I will just put it out there - I am not part of the world that fawns over Johnny Cash and thinks he is the best thing to happen to music ever... so I suspect I'll prefer Adam's version. Okay here we go! I can't write. I'm too busy swooning. YUMMY!!! Who knew Johnny Cash could sound so full of sexual innuendo. I love it! Meow!! Ooh Adam - going high - HOT! His pants are bitchin'. Adam is the BEST thing to ever be on Idol, in my opinion - which is the only opinion that matters in MY blog! He doesn't look insecure or amateurish at all like everybody else. I might actually go to the Idol concert this year so I can see him! This faghag is in love! Can't wait to download the mp3. Don't you just love his smile?? And he works the black eye shadow better than any other guy - sorry Johnny Depp. Simon - you are NOT listening to me right now! Women and twinks - we are LOVING Adam's performance tonight. I LOVE ADAM!

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6. What? There's more? I saw what I came for. Okay - next. Scott MacIntyre. Yeah - I think I'm over him. does he only do ballads at the piano? His voice reminds me of the 80's. Good we picked up the tempo a bit. I wish I could play and sing at the same time. My singing/playing simultaneously is limited to the Hokey Pokey and one Fiona Apple song. He made a funny. Cute.

* Simon is in a mood tonight! *
* The confrontation is making me uncomfortable. I have to tune out. *
* I'm bored. I'm calling my mommy. *

7. Alexis Grace. Didn't somebody do this song last year? This girl is t.i.n.y.! I want somebody to sing 9 to 5. I LOVE 9 to 5. My feet are cold. The Cranberries! Her hair, tiny body, (appearance of a) big head - she looks like the lead singer of the Cranberries! Nice teeth. I'm sorry - I think I just started judging a pageant. I think she never caught my attention with this song. I like her lipstick a lot.

*To address my first comment .... I am NOT Fox News - I do not PRETEND to be fair and balanced. MY name is at the top of the blog page ... therefore I shall force you all to endure hearing me continually praise the very pretty Adam Lambert. So there, mommie dearest!*

8. Danny Gokey. He has a big supply of glasses. My little girl friend thinks he resembles Robert Downey Jr. Too bad he didn't sing Before He Cheats - that would have made me giggle. Ew - his jacket collar is popped?? No. Stupid fashion choice tonight. Singing is good - same quality I'd expect from Danny. Everyone will praise him. Moms will love him. I like that he seems like a really nice guy.

* Paula's boobs are so in our face tonight. *
* SIMON!! Thank you for addressing his bad clothes!! *

9. Anoop Desai. I like the hoodie under the jacket - a look I end up wearing a lot in the winter. He has the echo effect too! Much better than last week and I'd rather hear his voice than Willie Nelson's any day! Now's he's going for it! The slow build up was nice, but its like once he went for the big crescendo it stopped too soon. Odd.

* Some things, in my humble opinion, are overrated: this song - You Are Always on My Mind, Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, Stevie Wonder, Mary J. Blige, Fantasia Barino (to throw in some Idol people). .... I don't get all the over the top praise for these things. *

10. Meagan Joy. Vote her off please. I wonder what animal noise we'll get to hear this week. They should strap her down so the wannabe can't wiggle weirdly. I can't stand a single thing about her voice. Oh lord - those 2 night notes?? What the hell?? sounded horrid. This was retarded. Patsy Cline I like. Hell I'd rather hear Denise Russell (a drag queen) up there singing instead. I want to something nice about her .... um .... her hair is pretty tonight.

* SHE'S SICK - LET'S SEND HER HOME! *

11. Matt Giraud. I am liking him more this week than last week. Bad last note. I don't really have anything to say. Overall this one was enjoyable.

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