Tuesday, April 7, 2009

American Idol: The Year They Were Born

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Girl Scout cookies? check. Journal? check. Pen? check. Chair by the fire? check. Cell phone handy? check. Must be time for Idol!

Baby pictures are always fun ... as long as they aren't nudes of me! Yeah, my number 1 man has his back back to normal tonight. Woo hoo!

1. Danny. (Stand By Me) Danny's mom and I have the same name! I bet she spells it wrong. This is Mom & Jim's song. What the hell? 5 words into and I don't like it already. Sometimes you just want the real version instead of a funeral dirge of a beginning. I know the women love him, but I am not liking this much. His outfit is an improvement on week's past. I like black with a bold color popping out.

2. Kris. (All She Wants to Do Is Dance) I HATE this performing among the robot girls thing. So lame. I am getting claustrophobic watching it. This is a retarded song. I think I like his version better than the original retarded version though.. This show is on the verge of making me feel old. Big fan of Kris, but not my favorite performance of his at all. Bet it will be better than Scott's though! (Was that mean?)

3. Lil (What's Love Got To Do With It) BARF! Go home! I hate how she talks. I hate how she sings. I hate her gigantic ass. Honestly her voice isn't even impressing me in the slightest tonight. But she's been "thanking" - that's "thinking" with an "a" instead. Its like "You can Sang!" -- What's with deliberately sounding like an idiot and using the wrong tense of words? The audience seems to have liked it .... but I thought it was lame. She is so overrated. I think only the judges ever liked her versus the viewing American public. Thank you Simon!!! He nailed it. She was busy doing stereotypical moves and vocal nonsense. She should just go to the Vegas circuit or something. I promise I will never want to hear her on the radio. She and Fantasia can go scream together and bounce around on their girthy backsides together.

4. Anoop (True Colors) I love this song! Reminds me of the Honey, I Shrunk the Audience pre-show. His voice started a little too breathy for me. He's making it boring, no? I listen to this song on repeat and it doesn't bore me, but this is. I am not "feeling it" as they say. Felt like a vacant performance. He was singing the words but it didn't seem like he was actually into it. The judges liked it better than I did. Singing was fine. Notes were fine. Delivery was boring. Maybe he needed to do the Epcot version.

5. Scott (The Search is Over) New instrument tonight. do I know this song? He is such a goody-goody, its like he won't perform a non-schmaltzy song. Ooh - bad note. Make that bad noteS. This might be his week to go home. Oh my gosh - make it end. I feel bad for him. This is bad. Am I the only one thinking about all this "right before my eyes" stuff and how he can't see? I need to ask the soft-hearted people to NOT vote for him. Yeah he's blind. A lot of people are. Doesn't mean he's a performer worthy of staying on another week.

6. Allison (I Can't Make You Love Me) Yep - I feel old. Was she born when we were all getting our periods and first bras? Hell. No - she was born AFTER that. Damn. If anyone cares, Constantine Maroulis sang this song during his Idol season. Its on my iPod if you want to listen. Best song choice of the night - since Danny f***ed up Stand By Me. Her clothes are way better than last week. She has such a fat neck. That was good. I still think she sounds like an old biker bar fly.

7. Matt (Part Time Lover) I am NOT surprised he chose Stevie wonder. Another week of wanting to be Justin Timberlake. Sorry dude, you are NO JT! I do like this song though. Happy he's just singing and not playing the piano again. Does Paula always dance? Poor Simon having to be by that. Why is he growling so much during this song? I don't get that. Oh whatever .... let's get to the REAL show ........


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8. ADAM LAMBERT (Mad World) Let me say again how hot he is. Phantom mask!! I prefer his dark hair. Yummy!! A chair! I'm so excited!! The blue reminds me of the Top Gun sex scene. Yes, I can talk about gay guys and sex - comes with the faghag status. I will point out his tight pants and the way they accentuate his, um, .... package. He has a great ass by the way - have you seen it? I'll post the picture! .... Watch Simon ... I saw the spoiler ... YES!!! Simon on his feet! Rad!! Adam is the BOMB diggity! Are we allowed to say that phrase anymore? I just wanted to bring some Randy Jackson to the blog. Its like a high school talent show and then the guest professional comes out to finish the show. LOVE HIM!!


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4 comments:

  1. You seem to be right on tonight. Just the right amount of sassy. I'm bored with it all. Am I over American Idol? Is that it? Now watching piano bar man. Or is it Justin Timberlake?

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  2. Okay - first person to sing Stevie Wonder successfully. That was really really good. Scott's going home tomorrow.

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  3. YOu are obsessed with bras tonight. I don't get why Allison keeps getting in the bottom three. She's really quite spectacular. But clearly - Adam will win this season. There you go. I said it.

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  4. Surprisingly... to me any ways! My fav top 3 from last night were Adam (of course!), Allison & Matt. Danny would also be included if I were naming my fav top four.

    I think it is time for Scott to go home. Followed by Lil.

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