You're Not My Kindergarten Teacher!

Quick info: It was Fall of 2006. I went to Orlando alone for my annual vacation. I was staying at Disney's Pop Century Resort. Robin still lived in Orlando and we were going to have a night out at Parliament House - a popular gay "resort".

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I had yet to actually go to a gay bar, so I was very excited! On the way to my room after some afternoon shopping, I wandered through my food court/gift shop and discovered we had a little bar at the hotel. I hadn't planned on getting anything to drink - but I was at the start of the "R**** Gone Wild" vacation and going to be getting ready, so why not grab a drink?  Long Island Iced Tea in hand, I hurried to my room to shower, shampoo and shine! Robin showed up to get me and we made a little stop back at the Classic Concoctions bar to get another round of Long Islands!

Eventually we made our way downtown to Parliament House where I met up with my friend Brian and one of his friends. Danny! That was his name! Danny was only 18 - a fact I neglected to realize since we were in a bar and I figured we all had to be 21 ... apparently not at this particular club! The four of us had so much fun talking, people watching and dancing. Oh boy did I dance! I danced so much I could barely walk the next night!  My drink of choice all night was the ever faithful Long Island Iced Tea. Danny liked them too. I was sharing with him because I'm a generous person - but then learned that his color of wrist band indicated he wasn't old enough. Oh well -  no biggie - we were spilling half of the drinks on ourselves anyway.

I had a blast dancing in a sea of hot, skinny gay boys. The thumpa thumpa was moving my body and the disco lights were more than enough entertainment for me. It was just one big swirl of rainbow excitement. I was in complete heaven! But it was getting late - or rather probably early in the morning - and Robin felt it was time to go home. Apparently when your eyes are rolling in the back of your head it is time for you to be cut off??  ;-)   We said good bye to Brian and Danny and went to the main door. (Parliament is an old motel - so really we went to the lobby). Being the responsible one, Robin told me to stay in that exact spot while she ran outside to call/look for our designated driver. Big mistake!   ---oh, I'm laughing just thinking about this.

As she walked away from me I got this "I know I'm going to break the rules" grin on my face as I did a 180 in my 'stay here' spot. Stay here?? Me?? Stay in one spot?? I want to dance!! About 10 seconds after she left my side I was gone. I had to make one final lap through all these crazy rooms. Each room was a different theme. Different paint, different Go-Go boy dancers, different people. I wasn't ready to say good bye.

I made my victory lap and returned to my spot. The instant I got back to the lobby Robin appeared, grabbing my arm and taking me away. It was at this point that one of my most classic "drunk R****" lines appeared .... "You're not my kindergarten teacher!" How on earth I came up with something so funny  (to me) on the spot like that, I'll never know. Mind you Miss Robin was ready to strangle me at this point - and can you blame her really?? She's been around me enough to know when I need to be put to bed - and boy did she have a hard time. I can't tell you how many times I cracked myself up telling her she's not my kindergarten teacher. The entire ride to my hotel I was babbling. I never shut up. I knew I was going to vomit. Our driver kept threatening me with physical harm if I puked in his new car. I promised I wouldn't. And I didn't!

Once back at Pop Century, Robin tells me it took her almost 20 minutes to get me to my room. I was moving so slow and taking so many photos since I forgot my camera in the car and didn't get any in the club. Upon arrival to my room she left me to my own devices. I know I ripped off my party attire and ran to the bathroom where I proceeded to get sick all over. Good thing I had my own room!

The next morning I was awoken by a phone call from my friend. He and his son were on their way to get me for our 10am character breakfast reservations. It was Sunday -  9am. I never set an alarm. I was lying in bed, no clothes on, and still drunk, with reservations in 1 hour. We made it there in time - and what a fun character breakfast that was!

BEST NIGHT OUT EVER!!!!

Thank you Robin, Brian, little Danny, and our hot bartender Carlos.

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On a side note to this long blog .... a year or 2 later I asked Brian who paid for our drinks. He had no idea. Robin had no idea. We're not sure if anybody ever really paid. I think we did. I'm not really sure. We will never know I guess!