Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Nothing Brings Family Together Like A Holiday??

There's nothing like the holidays to bring families together. Matching sweaters, hot cocoa, egg nog, the scent of cinnamon filling the air, a warm fire crackling in the background, a perfectly decorated tree, stockings hanging from the mantle, cookies and milk set out for Santa Claus, family sing-a-longs of favorite Christmas carols, a perfectly cooked turkey and apple pie, laughter, hugs, sentimental photos of grandparents and grandchildren.  All holidays are like a Hallmark card.

Maybe. But not if you're in MY family!

I heard my family holiday gatherings described perfectly on the radio last night. We are all excited to get together, talk, eat. You show up happy - yet still kind of "ugh" about it -  but then it gets tense, people may fight. Eventually the night comes to an end and everyone hugs, says how great it was to get together and how we can't wait to do it again. Then you are left with just your immediate family - and you have to re-cap and gossip and what the heck just went on.  And then, as it says on the shampoo bottle, you lather rinse repeat. We do it all again the next year!

Its not always family wanting to strangle each other - we just have zany get togethers!
  • There was the time all of us cousins spotted Stan putting on his Santa costume outside Grandpa's house, and we finally confirmed our suspicions all along that it was in fact Grandpa's friend under that horrible costume.
  • One year a young boy came out of the bathroom shaking with eyes wide open. I think even his hair was standing up a bit. He had just put a key into a power outlet and electrocuted himself. (Okay, I still laugh at this one just as much as I did when it happened probably 20 years ago!)
  • Another young boy once emerged from a back room carrying a gun, not even realizing what it was.
  • That goes along with the horrible sight we witnessed out the kitchen window one year. The neighbors had returned home from hunting and were proudly displaying the dead body of a deer they had murdered. No wonder some of us ended up becoming vegetarians.
  • There are have been the family battles with a person yelling F*** You, Mom!   That was a doozie!
  • A certain blog author one time had to put a foot down and actually kick a family member out of the house - but not after laying in a couple swift punches and kick to the crotch. (You have NO idea how many other members are jealous of that certain blog author!)
  • A story never to be forgotten - as is evident every year as we all re-tell it and laugh - is THE fire. One sister prone to hysterics noticed the a fire starting on the kitchen stove. Instead of flipping out as is customary, she remained calm and informed the loud houseful of people that there was a "Fire. There is a fire in the kitchen. Fire."  Almost monotone. The one time we needed her to be loud and get our attention, and we barely heard her! No worries - the fire was put out and everything was fine.
  • Oh, didn't Grandma fall in the bathroom once? A total "I've fallen and I can't get up" moment for sure! Poor Grandma.
  • Speaking of grandmas!! My great grandma Mildred. She lived in a nursing home but was with all of us for Christmas. We always had a very impressive array of cookies during Christmas. She knew this, and was determined to get one. All day long she kept having someone assist her to the bathroom. Every time she passed through the dining room she grabbed a cookie. It was after maybe 5 trips that we all caught on to her!
  • Food disasters have happened .... gravy exploding, "lightning" in the microwave when the wrong plate was used to heat some pie.
  • Family drama - I don't dare elaborate. We all have "that" person/segment, right? That one where you just know eventually they are going to cause a scene and make everyone uncomfortable? I choose to believe you all have that in your families, or you're just in denial about it!
This feels like just the tip of the family gathering iceburg, too! With Thanksgiving coming up quickly, I am so excited to see them all again, a little nervous about what may happen, and ready to see what sort of new memory will possibly result from Thanksgiving 2009!

Family - gotta love 'em!

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