Lessons Learned

Being the token single girl that I always am, I decided to pause for a moment and reflect on things I have learned in regard to the opposite sex, dating, marriage, yada yada yada, over these last 31 years of life.....

1. You CAN train them to put the toilet seat down.
2. If you catch him cheating on you, dump his ass immediately!
3. If he is always being hit on by gay guys .... there's a reason!
4. Trust the pets. If they have a bad reaction, there is a reason!
5. Trust the pets. If they have a good reaction, there is a reason!
6. To quote When Harry Met Sally ... "He's never going to leave her!"
7. If you can't laugh and have fun together, what's the point?
8. You can have the best personality, but if you don't have huge boobs, he's never going to love you.
9. Males do not know how to change a litter box, so don't even have hopes of getting help in that department.
10. If you marry into the mob, they won't let you out - so sign a pre-nup!
11. When you turn on your computer and it automatically starts connecting to porn sites .... dump his ass immediately!
12. Never share passwords.
13. Don't talk during sports. 
14. He WILL tell you to bring him a beer, and possibly food. He CAN get up and get it himself. 
15. No does mean no. It is not up for debate.
16. If you don't want to hang out near him when you go out together with friends... dump his ass immediately!
17. If he makes you physically ill .... dump his ass immediately!
18. When you are told that you cannot weigh over 140 pounds... you guessed it ....dump his ass immediately!
19. Being single and happy is 1000 times better than feeling stuck in a relationship - even if it means you have a date for the movies. Going to the movies alone is actually quite nice!
20. If he has mommy issues, cut your losses and move on!
21. You don't have to have a sugar daddy, but it isn't always bad to have a boyfriend that will take you out to a really nice restaurant just because.
22. If he seems like a douche, he probably is. Move on.
23. When you are best friends, that's the best relationship!
24. Bonus points if you can keep from letting sports rivalries come between you!
25. Family is VERY important. If you don't like my family or I don't like yours .... give it up!! If you do like each other -- Awesome!!

 And finally, Dudes come and go, Real friends stick around and help you bash the dudes after they are gone! So here's to my Real Friends that are probably sick of me being the 3rd wheel, yet still don't complain!