Un-dateable: A Lesson in What Not To Do

Of all my friends, I realize I have dated the least amount of people. I realized earlier this year that this is because I am un-dateable.  I thought perhaps if I reflect on those characteristics that make me un-dateable, maybe I could help other people that are looking for advice. It could be sort of a "don't" list. Don't follow in my footsteps, and you'll be set for success!

So, with that, let's take a look at reasons why I am unattractive to the opposite sex (at least those that are of the heterosexual variety)!

1. I have gay friends. To me, this should not be considered a deal breaker. I don't set out to be friends with the rainbow loving population, we are just drawn to each other like a magnet. My choosing them to be friends based on sexuality is about as silly as saying they chose to be gay. My gays are like the best girlfriends this fruitfly could ever ask for! THEY are the ones that accept me unconditionally, even with my flaws!
2. I have a "beauty mark" on my right chin area. Apparently this is disgusting looking and a major turn off. Oh how nice it was to be told that TO. MY. horribly disfigured FACE.!
3. Location. Location. Location.  If someone wanted to date me, he'd probably never find me because of this little valley I live in. It really is a pretty place though. Nice and small, and close to many different "attractions" - if you enjoy mountains, rivers and oceans like I do!
4. I'm not crazy. I am not bi-sexual. I don't have crazy tattoos. I'm not a stripper. I have never tried drugs. I don't drink excessively. I'm not from some exotic local. I'm just a normal all-American girl that knows how to behave, yet still have fun. But if you're turned off by that - I'm soooo very un-dateable!
5. I used to work in Walt Disney World. Over 50,000 people work there, yet this seems to make me strange and someone people look down on. I still don't get it, but I'm guessing I'll just have to accept that. Who knew that having a job, regardless of location, and performing well at it would make you unattractive?
6. My music choice. I enjoy a wide variety. Apparently though, having my own opinions on music and enjoying what I enjoy makes me unappealing. I embrace diversity, but alas, I guess that isn't always accepted.
7. I'm not a model. News Flash! I know, right?? You all thought I was a perfect size 2, weighing in at 110 pounds, standing tall at 5'10". Sorry to disappoint you! I'm just 5'5 3/4". I don't dare post my weight. I have legs and a back side that are getting more and more muscular every day from running. I don't have 6-pack abs and I really don't think I ever will. I'm not fat. I'm not skinny. I'm just me. And I'm fine with me. But I've learned people just want to date a hard body with huge boobs. That will never be me.
8. I'm not married. What? Okay - so this one is more of a joke. Someone once told me years ago "it's not cheating if you're both married!" It was said as a joke, but to this day it still gets brought up. So I guess if I'm not married, no married guy is going to be into me??  Alright - had to have a more humorous one in here because I can't possibly stay serious for an entire blog!
9. I'm not a dude. I know - ANOTHER News Flash!!  Let's face it - the men who like me most are gay! 
10. Guys don't want to date non-beer drinking vegetarians. Some day I will figure out why people care what I do or don't eat. I always look at it as it is food going into MY body, so it should only matter to ME. This non-meat eating lifestyle of mine has actually been a deal breaker before. 

Ten seems like a good number to end on, but we know I could continue for another 10! The pathetic thing about this list is that I'm not even making it up. I've pretty much been told over the years that these are reasons why I am un-dateable.  But you know, thanks for telling me! At least now I know to not get my hopes up.... Ever. I will just continue to be myself, as strange as I apparently am, and be happy. Happiness is what matters!

Ooh - honorable mentions:  I drive too slow and don't pull out in front of moving cars. I've worn the same skirt more than once. One time I wore horizontal stripes. (Gosh, its like I just found an untapped memory bank here!) I only got a B.S. in Psychology from a real University. (Wow - the things that some people will complain about is crazy!) I got to bed at a reasonable hour. I text with my friends. I respect people's homes and their "house rules". 

So, basically - I just suck. Well, I do.... if I actually believed all of the above were legit reasons to find someone too horrible to date. Fortunately, I have my head on my shoulders! I know I'm a good person. I'm fun. I like to get outside and be active. I enjoy time with friends. I know I'm not beautiful, but I have to believe that I'm not horribly disfigured as I was once told! And if breast size is REALLY a reason to rule me out --- then please do. I'm totally not in the mood to deal with such shallowness!

In conclusion - many might think I suck - but I know a lot of people who do like me. I have my friends. I have my family. I'm set!!

Go me!