It started innocently enough of my #1 gay's facebook page. Soon enough 3 Rae girls (myself, my mom, and my oldest friend that is practically my sister) had gotten out of control! For the record, I can't even SAY the "V" word, yet apparently I can type it. It looks long, but I assure you it's a fast read. So now, I welcome you to a snippet of my exciting Saturday night!
Ronda Are you boys watching football?? We are here faithfully rooting for the Sundevils!!
Bob likes this.
Heather that's rude! we rooted for OSU today!
Ronda Uh huh. All Duck fans say that. I never believe it.
Debi Um. I've been in Autzen when they've shared the OSU scores. No. They're not cheering for the Beavers, Michael - where are you? Be good to my Clarky. I favor him.
Ronda We still love you, Heather! ;) ♥
Debi Wait. I thought we loved Clark.
Ronda Back off from my gays, Davidson!
Ronda Back off from my gays, Davidson!
Debi You're stuttering Ronda R**. And I won't.
Heather no i really really did! uggggg. f'ing beaver fans. nevermind! de-friend you all!
Ronda You can't de-friend us. You're stuck with me FOREVER!!! Muahhahahahha.
Debi She scares me.
Heather who scares you? me? ronda? both? i'm actually a good person debi no no. but i'll never show you that side!
Debi If we're stuck, can we at least steal Carly Rae?
Heather Carly???? and i scare you?!! Carly will be worse than me one day. Just you wait.
Ronda I think you're right, Heather! You were scared of stuff. Carly is a little daredevil!
Debi Michael and Clark - please step aside.
Ronda Heather --- -Mike and Clark are waiting for strippers, FYI! Thought you'd enjoy knowing that!
Heather yeah. bad. she's crazier than me. but maybe your mom will like that about her. we could drop her off for a week or so for her to decide?! don't call us, we'll call you.
Debi No wonder they're gay. They don't want anything to do with the crazy women that are posting are their walls.
Heather if i were a guy, i'd be gay too. i love pee pee.
Ronda OMG that was hysterical!! I can't even imagine how crazy you'd be if you were a little gay twink on the prowl!
Heather i kind of wish i was!!!! dang.
Heather i always get accused of being a drag queen. it must be because i'm so sexy.
Debi It's because you're tall and so godddammmmnn skinny.
Ronda It's cause you're tall and wear heels.
Ronda OMG. My mom and I are way too alike!!!
Heather and i have big features, a big head. a big vagina. lol. sorry.
Ronda Well you did have 3 kids, so......
Heather it really does go back to normal. kind of. it looks a little different. but it's not like a blow out like everyone thinks. it's a very resilliant muscle. ask your mom.
Debi Girls - I think we're going to upset MIKE AND CLARK. Let's move to Ronda's page!!!!!!!!!!
Heather hahahahaha. yeah we should. sorry guys!
Ronda Oh no. Clark LOVES to hear about women parts. Totally!
Debi I do my klegela every day.
Heather kegals? are you drinking debi no no? sorry your beavers lost. i did root for them! f'ing hate boise state!
Ronda (Yes, she is drinking!)
Michael Strippers.......booze....more booze........poop on the bar bathroom floor.....tour bus from Tucson.......passing out.......it's all a blur this morning.
Ronda .... and here we are talking about vaginas on Ronda's page.....
Kelli and Steve like this.
Debi Ronda came out of mine.
Steve sorry but that is a good like...right?
Ronda And now I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying!
Heather omg i can so tell your mom is drunk. i like her a lot when she's drunk! i think it's because it's the only time she can tolerate me!
Debi Steve - I'm so sorry - you have walked into the middle of a cluster with Ronda, Mommy and Heather R**. All is good.
Debi Go Sundevils.
Steve WHAT???? I know it's all good.....
Debi Drunk? Mommy? What?
Heather were talking about vaginas and drag queens and kegals. although debi thinks they are klegas right now.
Ronda Yes, Debi isn't all there. I'm not so sure she didn't take Vicodin after all!
Heather i want to see the duggar ladys vagina. just once! now i bet that is a f'ing blow out.
Debi Flexing excercises.
Steve klegas or kegals....they either way are really good for you! and dunk...mommy....ronda....heather....vagina.....i'm down!!!!! hahahahaha!!!!
Debi Mommy is leaving to go potty. Heather - don't you have babies to bathe and put to bed?
Ronda She still hasn't realized that "klegas" is not the right way to spell it!
Ronda OMG she can't spell "exercise" either!
Heather they're already bathed. the youngest i already sang to, rubbed her back and she's sleeping. the older two are watching pippi longstockings rr and hr style on the living room floor campout style! i'm such a good mommy. no really!
Ronda I want to camp out!!! We still have to have our girls only slumber party. Let's make Dan wait on us when we do that!
Heather yes! margaritas and grilled cheese!
Heather i'm so glad "H.Taylor" just scored for ASU to put them ahead of the Ducks.
Steve i want Margaritas and grilled cheese!
Ronda You had me at margaritas ... and grilled cheese!
Debi Really? I missed a few moments.
Steve YOU HAD ME AT VAGINA'S....where's the margarita's and grilled cheese!!!!!!
Ronda I bet all my co-workers are sooo interested to know what's going on with our vaginas tonight!
Heather i love both of those things. except i really do like tomatoes on mine.
Ronda Well you can have a cold tomato on your vagina any night!
Heather ummm. i'm stuck on repeat i guess. i will put tomato there rr! except dan doesn't like tomato. maybe a beer and a bratwurst?
Ronda Um..... I laughed so hard I spit on myself!
Debi Excuse me, children. This really could look questionable to the unknowing public. Let's just summarize that Ronda, Heather and Debi have vaginas. Steve does not.
Heather your mom is going to have a heart attack.
Ronda Steve, do you agree with the above statement?
Steve Vagina.....margarita's......grilled cheese........beer......AND....bratwurst???????? I can handle that!
Ronda Are we all having the raddest Saturday night or what??
Heather steve is dizzy. your mom is ha-wasted. and we are...ummm.. cooking on our crotches?
Debi Heather - I'm a matron in my 50's on her blood pressure medication. And I still have an active vagina.
Steve well...i disagree....to agree about agreeing....so yes...I FULLY AGREE!!!!
Ronda I'm about to cook popcorn on mine!!
And earlier tonight I had to have a talk with my mom and Jim about safe sex! I kid you not!
Steve why am i dizzy?
Heather omg. OMG! I'm the one who can't handle this now. RONDA!!! omg Ronda! Where are you?! Your mom just told me she has an ACTIVE vagina! I don't know what to do with this information. I'm freaking out!
Heather you can't handle vag/brat talk. it's making you want vag/brat's.
Ronda YOU'RE freaking out??!?!?! How do you think I feel??? This is my mom's hooha we're talking about now!!
Debi Ronda, that is very personal. No need ot share.
Steve only cause i'm human....i swear i can talk and look and bratwurst wieners and talk about vagina's like a very un-dizzy human!
Heather yea Ronda. personal. please don't tell everyone that your mom has sex, like your mom just did.
Ronda Oh geez. I need a drink.
Steve wow....
Ronda Don't worry .... she is NOT doing that right now! Phew!
Heather we had popcorn tonight! we didn't technically have dinner, just lots of snacks.. including fruit! (mom)... and i still have popcorn beside me. but sunflower seeds are yummier, and what i'm eating.
Debi It's so tempting to say sometihing right about now.
Heather say it! it's just f.b. not real life.
Ronda Did you put syrup in your hair?
Heather no. i only do that with you. at 4 am. when are you going to start dating jamie btw? he's waiting for you.
***(And this point I will note that Jamie is Heather's ex-husband)
Ronda OMG. NOOOOOOOOO. I'm not available to date him.
Heather like not mentally available? or ?
Debi thank God. We've taken a turn in this conversation. Now........ about Jamie.
Debi Whoa! 56 comments about va jay jay.
Heather please move to the jamie topic room now. thank you, management.
Heather i love that this has 58... now 59 comments.
Ronda It has to be one of the longest status conversations for a non-celebrity!
Heather non-what?!?!?!?! you are so a celebrity.
Ronda Why thank you! Should I make a fan page?
Debi Amen. Let it be done.
Heather yes. and i'll make 10 fake ronda r** pages so no one knows which one is really yours.
Ronda Oh nice! Maybe I should be on twitter so my fans can follow me?
Heather yes. i was going to suggest that. u will have to delete ur f.b. page. and just twitter. but sorry, that is the name of the game. and i will be your Casee Cobb.
***(Casee Cobb is Jessica Simpson's best friend/assistant)
Ronda Wow! I always figured I'd be YOUR Casee Cobb!
Jeff ....
Ronda Yes, Jeff? Care to weigh in on the subject?
Heather i know. i kinda want to be the star. but either way would be fun!
Jeff oh my god, we were dying laughing reading this thread. i'll leave it at that.
The Cast
Ronda R** --(I censor to avoid Google alerts!) --- ME! The angelic only child.Debi R** -- my mommy, who has just had some oral surgery and wasn't her normal, sober self
Heather R** -- my oldest friend in the world, the wild child, mother of my 3 "nieces", Carly R** being my favorite
Michael -- my number one gay
Clark -- Mike's partner whom I just adore
Steve -- the son of a friend, new dad, major Beaver fan, as we all should be! Go Beavs!
Jeff -- classmate that I've gone to school with since kindergarden
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| H. Rae and R. Rae - partying at the county fair. Classy! |
It cracks me up when your mom says "she came out of mine"!! LOL
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