To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.
-Steve Prefontaine
Make it simple, but significant.
- Don Draper

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Ice Princess and The Freak

He thought she was an ice princess. She thought he was a freak. He wore bathrobes to school. She wore pleated plaid skirts and penny loafers. His hair was a curly, frizzy mess. Hers was tame, shiny, straight and blond.  They wanted absolutely nothing to do with each other.

They were total opposites. But opposites, as they say, attract. Is it possible their biology teacher knew that when he decided to create a seating chart out of the blue? For months the students had their choice of seats, but suddenly they were being told where to sit. The funny thing is that most of the 11th grade class didn't even change seats, but for the "ice princess" and the "freak" - well, they were more than aware and annoyed that they were now forced to share a lab table. For a moment it did feel like the end of the world.

The first few days were tense. There wasn't much speaking, but yet not as much eye rolling as one would expect. It wasn't really until the day they had to make a baby that everything changed!  Together they had to create DNA and draw the resulting child. Perhaps the moment that the friendship blossomed and a bond was formed was when without any hesitation or discussion, the two agreed that no matter what happened, their child would not have a unibrow!  That's a reasonable, right?!?

From that day on, suddenly the two enemies became close friends. They would hang out on the weekends at the bowling alley, hit up their favorite restaurant, talk for hours on the phone about anything and everything. When she would host parties for close friends, he was always the first one there and the last one to leave. He was the only one brave enough to show up in a toga for the toga party she held. A toga, I suppose, isn't that far off from his bathrobe!

It was a strange thing, that friendship. Two mortal enemies became fast friends. He was always there to make her laugh, she was there to cheer him up and listen to him when he needed a friend. Just as sudden as that tight bond was formed, it was taken away.

* * * * * * *

I will never forget that last time I talked to him. He wasn't himself. There were no smiles, there were no words. Just him walking and staring at the ground, while I talked to him trying to get him to open up and say what was wrong.  Too quickly we had to part ways to go to our respective classes in that now torn down Fine Arts building.

The next Monday is a day I'll never forget. January 1996. We were so close to finishing our senior year of high school. So close to getting a fresh start in a new place, with new friends at new schools. Keith never got that chance. That morning I vividly remember a mutual friend pulling me aside and telling me the news that suddenly my fingers can't even find in them to type.  Holy cow - 14 years later and it can still make me cry! I didn't make it through that full day of school, it was just too damn hard. Nothing like having your first funeral be that of one of your best friends. To this day I can't really even listen to that Mariah Carey/Boyz II Men song One Sweet Day!

I still think about him quite often and wonder, if he hadn't pulled that trigger, what would he be doing now? I like to fantasize that he didn't choose to leave us, but instead was forced to move away as part of a witness protection program, and that one day when I least expect it he'll pop back into my life. I guess its a long, unrealistic shot, but its easier to keep that fantasy going than to really accept the truth. I will see him again someday - floating on our respective clouds in togas playing harps - and I will smack him upside the head and ask him WHY???!!!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

AI 2010 - Auditions - Dallas

(I did not re-read this or check for boo-boos, so I apologize in advance. I just really want to go watch the Hangover right now, so yeah - here's my blog!)

Yay for Neil Patrick Harris!!!  (He will now just be NPH, duh.)

#1 - Lady Marmalade chick - yeah, her voice sucks. Still!! How cute is NPH for critiquing her sign?!?  Love him love him love him.  I have too much to say about her, I can't get it all out, so I'll just leave it at that!

Lloyd Big Successexy - that's funny! He's a card, I like him! Oh - sympathy story, so we know he'll get through. Glad he's not bugging me yet. Nice voice! This is kind of refreshing after a lot of crappy people this season. His singing doesn't seem to have as much personality as he was in his intro package. Whoa - NPH just said what I said! Good job, Lloyd!

Simon and NPH are like last night's Katy and Kara. I can't take sides tonight. (Go Katy)

I hate original songs. Randy Jackson might be retarded. He should really listen back at his comments. His percentages are irking me to no end.

Doogie - he's the original blogger. Thank you NPH!

The In Living Color type black guy with the wink - Dexter. Wow. He is standing with his ass sticking out, hard core. That was horrid. NPH taking charging of the voting now. Go Doogie!

NPH interview... score!!

A girl on Barney? Can I say no to her now without the audition? Simon looks as confused as I feel! Her voice is so mouse-ee (how the heck do you spell that anyway??)  and nasal. I'm not into that. I like the mouse on my butt and that's about it.... except its not really on my butt. Pretty girl. Hope I don't end up despising her. I appreciate the whip - sort of.

I feel bad. I am a brat. I realized I hope Tourettes would make it in hopes of him having some random "Bitch!" type spasm.  His shirt is soooooo Michael, hell Michael might have that same one! And he's through! Come on, give us a great "moment" this year!  I'm sorry. At least I feel bad, but come on - you thought it, too!

NPH is an awesome guest judge. Am I gushing too much?? I'm a girl born in the late 70's - we are required by birth to love Doogie Howser, M.D.!

Oh poop. A little Jonas kid. Gross. Seriously gross. They should have had a New Kid on the Block instead! Heartthrob???? What??? No freaking way!!! NPH - he is MY kind of heartthrob!  At least this is the least fugly Jonas brother. I think it was the fugliest that got married - whatever.

WTF??? Headband girl got through?? They only showed a bit, but I HATED her voice!!! It was horrendous!!

Why are we supposed to pity kids of divorce and do the sympathy story on them? Most of us these days ARE kids of divorce. That is so not worthy of a sappy package. Her voice is weird. I was bleh about it.

At Last - I already ruled this song out as an audition piece a week or so ago. That was as terrible as her outfit. She makes my craziest outfits look absolutely boring.

Idol will not be the same without Simon.

Oh geeze - end with a tear jerker (Leukemia girl)!! The thing is, we have no suspense when every back story package piece gets through. She had a nice voice, but I checked out 'cause I already knew she'd get through.


That's all. More Idol blogs next week, but stay tuned for a couple of regular once soon to come!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

AI 2010 - Auditions - Los Angeles

Ryan's intro voiceover - he sounds congested.  I used to not be able to stand Avril. Now her songs remind me of Florida and partying in an Ohio bar with Sara and Jason, so she's not so bad!

Someone give shiny face dude a haircut!! And take away his vest. OMG - what's with the mouth tic noise thing he's doing?? Meatloaf?? So fitting, isn't it? Actually - his hair --- is he a long lost Osmond brother?

Since it is commercial I'll use this time to tell you that a guy gave me a flower today! What I won't tell you is that his job required him to give me one since it was Ladies Day at the oil change place.

A pastor! I thought I heard "abortionist". Those don't even sound alike. What the heck did I hear?

I have no comment on the Righteous Brothers song guy. I am scared.

Why do we have to do a kid montage instead of seeing auditions?

The girl with the 8 year old daughter sounds kinda like Pink.

ADAM!!!! We should see clips of him in every episode!

Ok seriously - the AJ Mendoza guy is totally trying to be Adam and failing. Not working for me at all. Love Avril's answer .. "Absolutely not!"

I LOVE Katy Pery!!!

Austin's red adn black shiny shirt. What do I say? Is he trying to be Mick Jagger? Make this stop, but no, don't. More, more, more! Ha! Jagger - I called it - Kara copied me.

Andrew Garcia's baby mama needs a hair make-over STAT! Did you see that mess on her head? Good song choice with Maroon 5. Would this be Idol's first contestant with a prison/gang looking neck tattoo? He and I have matching piercings!  (Speaking of prison, I just read a rather interesting Christian Longo article. Let me know if you want to read it, I can find it!)

Randy's chin hair .... it should go. I feel like it is verging on obscene and should be in a Playboy centerfold shot or something. I don't like it.

I think my right calf muscle is bigger than my left.

Minister #2, odd. She was so-so for me. She started a bit shouty, but ended it much better.

Oh boy - what lies in store with this long haired denim Jason Green?!?! I can't wait!!! Ha ha ha!!! Love his song choice - I Touch Myself!! this is freaking awesome. If you weren't at my "party" ages ago, I karaoked this one! On his knees - this is brilliant! I honestly wanted him to get a golden ticket. He's not a great singer, but he has mega personality and cracked me up! Best Idol Moment of 2010, so far.

And of course we end with another sympathy story. This is Mom and Jim's song (Stand By Me).... lard ass, lard ass, lard ass *cue the group vomit shot.... anyway, back to Idol and not the old movie... I guess he was fine. I kind of got distracted picturing leaches on Cory Feldman. OMG - Katy Perry is Rad! Way to cut off the sappiness of Kara. Good girl!!

Tomorrow night - Dallas - old WEST?? West?? When did Texas move to the Pacific Ocean side of the continent. Its in the freaking middle. Get a map!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Milestone #6 - Kicking My Own Ass!

I am freaking amazing, if I do say so myself! I have surpassed my own expectations!

For the first time in my 31 years, 2 months and 21 days of life I ran for 20 minutes straight without stopping! I honestly did not think it was possible, but once my 20 minutes was up, I actually considered going longer. I zigged and zagged all over two different neighborhoods with a couple pretty gnarly hills thrown in the mix. And I never once stopped or even considered it! I was in the zone!

I had it timed so that once those 20 minutes were up a certain song would play and cue me to walk. What bliss it was to slow my pace, have a mini celebration with myself, take off my hat, and feel the sprinkles of rain cool me off all to the beautiful music of Claire de Lune.

It was a spectacular run that gave me so much motivation to just keep running! If I can do 20 minutes now, well, this was my biggest hurdle. It will still be hard, but I almost feel like its all downhill from here!

Royal Family 5K ... Here I Come!!

International Travels

The year was 1985. The setting was Anaheim, California.

My mom, her friend Rexie (Sexy Rexie as I liked to call her!) and I went on a road trip to Disneyland.  One a sunny Summer day, we found ourselves in Adventureland boarding the world famous Jungle Cruise.  Being the adorable little blond girl with dimples that I am, I was seated on the boat's far side next to the skipper.

We hadn't even hit the first bend in the river yet when the following conversation took place. (Mind you I was a super shy Mommy's girl and 25 years later I am still shocked that these even happened.)

Skipper:  Is anyone aboard here from a different country?
Little Girl confidently throws her hand into the air.
Skipper:  Oh? (Probably thinking the girl looks as American as they come!) Where are you from?
Little Girl:  Oregon!
Boat erupts into laughter. (It would be a number of years before the little girl figured out why she was the accidental comedian.)
Skipper:  Well, some might think that IS a different country!  (laughs at his own joke/insult to the best state in the USofA!)

Needless to say, those Jungle Cruise skippers make me nervous to this day!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

AI 2010 - Auditions - Orlando

Orlando - my home away from home! There is so much potential for some crazy people tonight!

This tiny little guest judge reminds me of Miss Robin - tiny, cute and blond! So here's the Orlando demographic - from my experience at least... you've got your white trash locals, Latinos, and the gay/faghag entertainment type (no wonder with Disney and Universal right there!). I wonder what we'll get!

Dude with Phantom like feather on his face and scarf.... yowza!! Did he glue that stuff on his face? That's, um, dedication?

Oh hell, I am so sick of these sympathy stories and apparently we're getting a lot tonight.

Ryan said the "S" word!!  I love Simon!

I am now barfing over the beginning of the sap. For once I want the sympathy vote person to not make it through to the Hollywood round? Is that mean? I just don't care about the schmaltz - especially when there are so many "characters" to see in these early auditions.

I think "Yes" is sufficient - do we need to add percentages into the mix?

Nice WDW plug (FYI, there is an American Idol "thing" in Disney World that Jessica and I didn't care to check out) and I'll be there next month!!

OMG - Smile - MJ ....let's pause to remember old school Michael.


Sob story number 2 - she looks like the sister on Dexter! Totally! I like this Norah Jones song but her singing is kind of bland.

More MJ on the commercial break - don't forget "This Is It" comes out next week!  (Do I get any money for my free advertising??)

So far after day 1, its just kinda blah. Maybe I'm just not into it yet this year. Maybe I miss Adam. Maybe I want Ellen to join. I don't know.

Day 2 - beat boxing - its like Blake Lewis 2.0.  I am exhausted listening to that! I want him to go to Hollywood 'cause his coat kinda looks like my running jacket. Come on Randy! Give it to me for my amusement's sake. YES! Awesome!

House of the Rising Sun a-freaking-gain??? NO!!!

Rad - the dude is friends with strippers and that inspired the dancing of his we're about to see??  Oh lord! "My pants done ripped" - I love it!!  On a fashion note, his shirt is super cool.

Isn't Idol so much better without Paula??

Sisters. Friends. People shouldn't audition together .... especially in yellow shoes! From Jersey - no shock there! They should really just shut up and not talk. And now we have to see them some more - this could get pretty good, actually. Jersey Shore meets American Idol!

Remember me mentioning white trash locals?? Here we go! Oh, he's from Georgia, that's even worse. What the hell are these noises?? Amazing Grace should NOT sound that way.  He's "trippin"?  yeah - he very possibly IS "trippin" on something!  Bring out the stun gun!! Just cuffs? Damn.

15 year old with BB gun robbing a bank? Welcome to Florida .... and this justifies why I say I'd never raise a child there!! Performance wise I was bored.

And that's it!

Bye bye Orlando, I'll see you in a few short weeks!

The Things They Say - Round 3 & 4

(Back story:  I was wearing my 3 inch "party" heels, which I hadn't worn in quite a while.)

Person A:  Ooh, you've got your noisy shoes on today!
Person B:  Yep! Gotta practice walking in 'em for Vegas next week!
Person C:  Oh, you have to walk differently there?

I kid you not, person C was 100% serious in asking that question. Heaven forbid I just let my feet get used to 3" heels again!

* * * * * * * * *

Person A:  I'm almost 60 now. 60 years young.
Person B (on the pone):  Oh I thought you were 35.

It was at this point I pulled my hair back to vomit.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

AI 2010 - Auditions - Chicago

Did you see that? They put the date of my 30th birthday on the screen. I think it is a sign. Not sure of what the sign is for, but it is a sign nonetheless!

Ooh Shania - so pretty - she looks like my amazingly awesome friend, Kori! Plus she's Canadian, and who doesn't love a pretty Canadian?

First contestant's hair reminds me of Noxema girl. She has very nice teeth and lip color. I like that I don't hate her. I feel like we're going to see a lot of her - but you never know - crazy things happen in Hollywood.

OK the Broadway chick in love with Ryan - she is so damn annoying. Smoker laugh maybe?? Ugh - she is irritating. Boob tricks? Oy. Uh huh,  she is ob-freaking-noxious!

**Pretty sure I just saw the hostess from my favorite Walt Disney World planning DVD on NCIS during the commercial break!***

How funny was the dude in the white pants and dark jacket doing the Carlton?!?!?

Chicago. Wow. Um. Interesting crowd.

Maxwell guy - watching him sing - I think he really DOES think he is sounding like Maxwell. And the thing is, Maxwell has an annoying voice - probably why he's not famous anymore.

Who auditions with I Will Always Love You???

Army guy has some odd mouth issues. Tiny Tim?? I am laughing already at the thought. I wish he was singing the ice caps are melting song. (I'll try to find the video for you all!)

I saw tape on this dude's finger tips - white pants/red suspenders/hat.  Is he trying to be MJ? (This Is It comes out on DVD this month - buy it, I did!)  Slow slow slow slow. Oh, he took the tape off, bummer, I was ready to laugh at that.  Allergies?!? Ha - omg - did he cry??? I cannot stop laughing! This is great TV!  How mean am I? I laugh while others cry! I can't help it. Admit it - you laughed too!

Seriously, Shania is so freaking pretty! I want to see more of her!

John Park (Asian dude)... what is with guys and the windblown from the back to the front look? I don't get it at all.  I would feel claustrophobic with my hair all brushed forward over my face.  OMG this is getting funnier by the second. Shania is cracking everybody up! I love unintended innuendo!

I'm supposed to like asthma girl because they gave us some sappy story about her. I don't. I cannot stand her voice. She was just too much over the top. Simon got the right word that I was searching for - self-indulgent. Bech, move on!

I didn't have much to say tonight. I'm looking forward to tomorrow in my old home of Orlando! I'd keep my eyes open for old friends at auditions, but then I remember we are all too old.  :-(

Don't worry - I didn't forget, because I know you are all on the edge of your seat waiting for it ..... please enjoy this lovely Tiny Tim video. I swear to you it is worth the watch! I promise!!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Blast From the Past! Bend 2007 Party

Remember that party last year in Bend? The one where I woke up in the morning with my face covered in mud? Yeah - that was awesome! The same party also happened in 2007, but I totally behaved myself then, compared to 2009. Here's the old photo blog from that party!
* * * * *

Monday, September 10, 2007 

Current mood:  chipper
Category: Parties and Nightlife
It's that time ... time for another photo blog! This blog comes to us from Bend, Oregon. I found myself out in the desert last weekend. Partying with people, dogs, a band, shots, a cave that jumped down and smacked me in the head, a fire that I wanted to crawl on, broccoli thrown at my head, 3 wardrobe changes in one day, a super rad movie being projected onto a house, dancing like the old people do.....


Two weekends in a row with Matt and Kyle have turned me into a kick ass Wii boxer and 100% lazy ass. It rocks!  Now let's get more pizza!

We're so badass....

Eric seems to know what he's doing. I think I left after this to go get shots!

Like I said .... SHOTS!!

And Yes... there was a band!  (I didn't know most of their old people music, but that didn't stop us)

.... Didn't stop us from dancing like "old people"!  Anyone want to do the twist?

Sometimes getting a shot glass just takes too much time and is so unnecessary!

Seriously - our dancing was unlike none other!

The dogs seemed to enjoy themselves, too!  I hear there were 8 total by the end of the night. How cute!

All in all ... it was a rad night! 

***And for the record, NO hangover in the morning! Kudos me!***

Blast From the Past! 2008 Phoenix Trip

Here's another oldie from my myspace blog. This was my most spontaneous trip ever. Only two weeks notice on this one - and it was an absolutely fabulous trip. Just what the doctor ordered!
* * * * * *

Saturday, March 08, 2008 

Current mood:  adventurous
Category: Travel and Places 
On January 6 I decided it would be nice to get out of Oregon for a while. January 19 I was on a plane! 

Again, I was back in Phoenix, Arizona. Basking in the warmth of the sunshine, enjoying the peace of the desert, sipping on margaritas and sending fake drunk texts!

On one of our firsts trips out we saw them setting up for the Super Bowl.

But I was way more interested in our destination .... MARGARITAVILLE!

I had a delicious lunch!

And more important ... yummy margaritas!

Next we went shopping in Tempe. Mike was excited about the bath house advertisement!

On the way home we saw some trashy  wedding receptions in a park. They had freaking pinatas! And crepe paper.  I do not lie.

But we also saw this....

And this ....

At this point you should see pictures of us out dancing and drinking.
Instead, you will see this ..... the flowers Clark had set up in my room.
Yes, that's right ... we did NOT go out!
Instead, we stayed in. Enjoyed some Sonic milkshakes and the Godfather!

The next day Clark, Mike and I set out for My Florist for lunch. We were lucky enough to be joined by Sara, too!

Our next destination was sooooo cool!!!  We went to the Arizona Science Center to see the Titanic Artifact Exhibit.

They don't allow photography inside the exhibit, so this was all I was able to snap a shot of.

Sara and I totally got our science geek on inside, and had an absolute blast! It was truly one of the most fascinating, if not the most fascinating thing I have ever been able to see!  (And lets just not talk about how much I bought in the gift shop!!)

After Titanic we hurried home for a quick costume change. Next on our schedule --- Horseback riding!

We dubbed it the Brokeback Mountain part of our weekend (little did we know one of our own dear cowboys would pass away in 2 days )

I had fun in the backseat of the car taking pictures --- and looking at a dead guy on the sidewalk. Yes. That's what I said. Dead. Guy. On. The. Sidewalk.

This was my horse, Remmy!

My gay cowboys looked super hot!

Yeehaw! We were ready to ride!


We were riding off into the sunset.

At the top of the mountain, this was our view!

The sun began to go down pretty fast, and it was a breathtaking sight!

We tied up our horses and went into the T-Bone Steakhouse for dinner and dessert.

Hm, maybe the dessert wasn't such a good idea --- as I try to hoist myself back up on my horse!

The ride back to the stables was in complete darkness. Very cool and Very peaceful!

The day was not yet done. Oh  no!

We went back to my favorite leather bar, where I got quite an education in bandannas, colors, sides .... don't ask. It was totally rad!!

Then we finished off the night playing in a gigantic porn shop!

I had to teach the boys about the wall of girly toys.

No, you dirty pervs .... we didn't buy anything.

Sadly, all great things come to an end.  At least I didn't cry! Close! But not quite. I was a big girl!

And that's all for now.
Who knows, I might be back there again in 3 weeks. Maybe 3 months. But I WILL be back!