To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.
-Steve Prefontaine
Make it simple, but significant.
- Don Draper

Monday, March 21, 2011

Clean Up in Intimate Apparel

After a day of shopping for fun things like running clothes, Strawberry Shortcake socks, bracelets and a vacation sun dress for Disneyland, we were at our final stop... A quick run in to Target for a new shower head (I swear I didn't break the old one!!) and some Dr. Pepper. (Yuck. I'm not a fan of Dr. Pepper, but this story might make me one!)

The geyser can is in BB's hand at this point.
While in Target (which we do not have where I live) I remembered that Rose told me you can get awesome knee socks super cheap. Naturally I had to go find them! As we got to the sign that said "Intimate Apparel" it happened. The flimsy cardboard container Biker Boy was carrying just sort of gave out and ripped, sending twelve cans of the Doctor onto the floor. The majority stayed in the box, but a couple went rolling toward the bras, while a third just let loose like a mini geyser. It started spraying and had a minor roll to it at first. The spray may have hit some of the bras. It definitely was hitting Biker Boy's pants - and I swear it was trying to go for a crotch shot. He denies it, but I swear that's what I saw! An employee was walking by right at the time. He immediately did a 180 and ran to get paper towels. Before he could clean anything I had my phone out because I was NOT going to miss this explosion! Once I snapped my picture I was gone!

If only you could see the tears rolling down my cheeks.
I scurried away trying so hard to not laugh. I could feel myself getting redder and redder. I totally ditched BB and Target Guy so that I could laugh and upload the photo to Facebook. Hey, I have my priorities! There were still people shopping, naturally, so I was trying to not just be random girl laughing all alone. But then when I covered my face I thought they might worry that I was sobbing uncontrollably. Now had they assumed that, they would have also been correct. Tears were seriously streaming down my face. I could NOT stop laughing and crying for the life of me. 

Just when I started to think I had it under control, Biker Boy came around the corner, holding only the shower head and no Dr. Pepper. And then I lost it again. I haven't laughed so hard in years! I mean I was buckled over, doing my best to not snort or make any crazy gasping for air type sounds. Other shoppers then started laughing just at how hard I was laughing - I think a young boy was mildly frightened. For me, the part, well ONE part that cracked me up the most was the fact that it was nearly spraying the Target bras! I was about to regain composure again when Target Guy appeared with a fresh 12-pack of Dr. Pepper for Biker Boy. I totally lost it again. I didn't even try to fight it this time. I attempted to apologize for the laughter, but couldn't stop laughing long enough to do so. I honestly didn't feel bad at all. It was awesome!

On our way out of Intimate Apparel I started laughing again when I saw the big caution sign put up in the walk way. I did load up on socks - then ratted out BB to the checker on our way out of the store.  The next morning before fully waking up I was in another fit of laughter while still in bed. Fine, I am laughing again. Perhaps you had to be there, but maybe these photos and video can help you feel like you were a little bit! Was it possibly the highlight of my Portland weekend? Totally!!


  1. I'm glad your trip to Target was SOCKccessful. And hilarious. Oh man.

  2. First...I am glad that I was able to amuse you...and just to clear up a few was Diet DP....the Target Guy and Girl were awesome. I was blown away that he brought me another 12 pack...I swear it did not hit any of the Target clothes or my crotch...the only part of my jeans that got wet was my ankle...the best part was the mom and son that just lost it when they walked by...the mom almost doubled over because Fly was laughing so hard. And I am glad that I could add something awesome like this to your weekend!

  3. Biker Boy will probably be telling this story next year on National Awkward Moments Day! LOL

  4. So funny! And I LOVE dr. p!!

  5. Very funny. This post was a good way to start my Tuesday. Thank you.

  6. The video is ridiculous!!! Looks like you guys has a blast literally.

    Plus nice to see people outside The South drinking DP!


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