To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.
-Steve Prefontaine
Make it simple, but significant.
- Don Draper

Friday, February 3, 2012

The Post Where I'm Quiet

And this is why I'm quiet....

.... don't worry, running is going great. I'm finding so much joy in it right now (and stress relief!). I finished Dirty Dancing last night and started on the 7 Must Sees in Walt Disney World - i.e. Stacey!! A.K.A. the video that constantly plays on repeat in your WDW Resort hotel room. It's sick, but I just love her. So rest assured, I'm enjoying running more than ever right now! I'm back in my groove, my body is feeling much better post-fall, and I'm looking forward to my upcoming races with friends.

Sad. Betrayed.
That's how I'm feeling these days, and that's why I'm quiet. I already vented on the running issue - and I can't thank you all enough for you kind words of support on that post! Every single one made me smile and feel a little better. Sadly that running/venting post is tied into the other things bothering me. I don't even know how to explain without boring back story and details that I don't really feel need to be put on the blog. I feel like I'm living in a real life Mean Girls type movie. I used to be a Heather. We Heathers were much nicer than the Mean Girls, okay? I'm quite the social butterfly and like to include everybody and keep things positive. I'll attribute that to my years of being a Disney trainer and welcoming new Cast Members into our unique world. But now because of my openness, friendliness and apparently being too trusting  I feel sad. I feel like I've been betrayed by someone I thought was a friend. Things I've said in private conversations (although I've discussed on this blog and it isn't even a secret at all) have been twisted and used against me. Not once, not twice, but three freaking times. Girls are so mean to each other. And this time they've hit below the belt. I'm pretty laid back about things, and very open as well, but that doesn't mean it isn't important and personal. I never expected that to be taken, spread about as gossip and turned into something so negative against me. Especially when it is so very wrong.

My heart is just broken. It's like the silent blindside that I am not even supposed to know happened ... but I do know. I can't help but wonder, would I rather NOT know and continue being the butt of the jokes? Or know and at least learn and maybe reevaluate things?
Awkward post for me, right??  I mean this is so NOT typical of me. Writing helps me just find some release. I promise the next time I post it will be my normal nonsensical self!


11 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry that you are feeling like this and that this happened to you. You are a wonderful person and have the most positive outlook!

    Words do hurt and can be so painful at times...especially when you have that hurt come from someone you thought was a trusted friend. It's not something that is easy to forget or makes you feel any less betrayed. But I hope you know what an inspiration you are to me and to lots of other people out here in the world.

    You are amazing! Don't let anyone tell you different.

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  2. Taryn - thank you SO much! Really. It is like you just gave me a little internet hug! :)

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  3. Just wanted to send you a little blanket hug, I'd like to echo what Taryn has said xxx

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  4. wow... I'm sorry that this has happened to you! You're such a great person with an uplifting attitude...
    Girls can be mean sometimes... HUGS TO YOU!!!

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  5. Tell me who is making you the butt of their jokes and I will come down and kick their asses!!

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  6. Wow mean people suck! Hugs to you.

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  7. I am so so sorry. People do not realize the impact that their actions and words have. Those that do realize and still chose to behave that way are better left alone. It's incredibly hard to do but sometimes it's just best to walk away and get people like this out of your life.

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  8. I found your blog through some links. I'm sorry you're dealing with mean girl stuff. Some people just never grow out of it. I went through a similar situation last year with someone I thought was a friend. Turns out, I was wrong.

    All you can do is work on surrounding yourself with people who left middle school behavior in middle school.

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  9. I don't understand how girls (women or even people in general) can be so mean to each other. You'd think we would grow out of this middle school mentality. You are such a fabulous person!!

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  10. Saw this recently: "Life is too short to spend it with people who suck the happiness out of you"

    I feel bad for people like that because they must not have much going for them in their life if they resort to gossip and spreading rumors.

    Run it out, girl! Hope you feel better soon - you deserve it :)

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  11. You're not on get off my internet are you?!

    Because, if so, then you're an internet celebrity now and I got to hang out with you. . damn me for not stealing a lock of your hair so I could put it on ebay and become rich! If I gave you my address, will you mail it to me? :-)

    I hope you're feeling better!

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Thanks for reading my little blog, your comments rock my compression socks!! ºoº