 |
| Relaxed ... and Happy! |
Yeah, I totally did. A lot has changed. It's been an odd period of time. I guess life is always a roller coaster and there are constantly ups, downs and sometimes corkscrews and barrel rolls. I just went through all of that and am now on a slow climb up!
I just read this interesting article in the newspaper about relationships affecting your health. I totally get it! For so long I felt worthless one minute, then suddenly sweet talked and back on top of the world. Up and down over and over. Eventually, as blog readers were witness to, it took its toll and I was just a broken mess at the bottom. When talking about this with my mom yesterday I may have referenced marionettes that we used to use in kindergarten. And a puppet-master controlling people. As perceptive as I am I missed the fact that I was one of the puppets and getting played around with. It was then that I believed I referenced ol' Charlie Manson and said, "Phew, at least I didn't give in and carve that swastika on my head." **Side note here: My mom and I are kind of "into" serial killers. Not in a sick, perverted way like the women that love them and want to marry them. My dream job has been to be Clarice Starling and actually work for the FBI and help catch them. We watch any documentary we can... and lean toward shows on Ted Bundy because of his OSU/PacNW connection and the whole Manson thing since my mom was down there during the infamous Helter Skelter killings. Wow - what a ramble I just took.
The point is, I finally feel like myself and in control again. Physically/mentally/emotionally I just feel better! I broke free from the chains that kept me down and at a distance when necessary. I was systematically put down over and over and then built up just enough so that I'd overlook all the negative. Since I cut myself loose everything coming my way has been really positive! It's so refreshing. And I learned some lessons. I mean why go through emotional hell and not take anything away from it? I definitely feel stronger and more confident - just like the good ol' days! From here on out things will be different! No more time at the Spawn Ranch for me.*
*Yes, I had to slip in one more Manson reference just because!*
So thanks everybody for putting up with me! Sorry when I've been a downer - I just had to keep writing to somehow release it all. Onward and upward!
I just read this interesting article in the newspaper about relationships affecting your health. I totally get it! For so long I felt worthless one minute, then suddenly sweet talked and back on top of the world. Up and down over and over. Eventually, as blog readers were witness to, it took its toll and I was just a broken mess at the bottom. When talking about this with my mom yesterday I may have referenced marionettes that we used to use in kindergarten. And a puppet-master controlling people. As perceptive as I am I missed the fact that I was one of the puppets and getting played around with. It was then that I believed I referenced ol' Charlie Manson and said, "Phew, at least I didn't give in and carve that swastika on my head." **Side note here: My mom and I are kind of "into" serial killers. Not in a sick, perverted way like the women that love them and want to marry them. My dream job has been to be Clarice Starling and actually work for the FBI and help catch them. We watch any documentary we can... and lean toward shows on Ted Bundy because of his OSU/PacNW connection and the whole Manson thing since my mom was down there during the infamous Helter Skelter killings. Wow - what a ramble I just took.
The point is, I finally feel like myself and in control again. Physically/mentally/emotionally I just feel better! I broke free from the chains that kept me down and at a distance when necessary. I was systematically put down over and over and then built up just enough so that I'd overlook all the negative. Since I cut myself loose everything coming my way has been really positive! It's so refreshing. And I learned some lessons. I mean why go through emotional hell and not take anything away from it? I definitely feel stronger and more confident - just like the good ol' days! From here on out things will be different! No more time at the Spawn Ranch for me.*
*Yes, I had to slip in one more Manson reference just because!*
So thanks everybody for putting up with me! Sorry when I've been a downer - I just had to keep writing to somehow release it all. Onward and upward!
High five!!! :D
ReplyDelete5!
DeleteYou go girl! When are you going to be at the expo?
ReplyDeleteOh - I guess I told you that already ... but I'll say it again - Saturday! AND I learned I get to go TWICE! So it better be as good as the others to keep up with my excitement level!
DeleteSorry for asking the same question again. Lol. It was pretty neat-o! The expo, that is.
DeleteHa! I don't care if you ask twice - at least now you know you get answer for sure!
DeleteGlad to hear it is neat-o!!
Good job for getting control back in your life.
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend and I have been listening to serial killer audiobooks. Give me the creeps but I so want to listen to it. :)
I listened to the Ted Bundy book while running and training for Princess. Let me tell you - GREAT motivation to keep moving any time you see a male in the vicinity. Maybe that's the key to good running?!?
DeleteHoly cow, I wanted to be Clarice Starling, too! And then, Dana Scully... lol. I love that kind of stuff. Are you a Criminal Minds fan? Best show on TV for those kinds of story lines.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE Criminal Minds!! Actually, now that you say that I might go see if I can find it. It's always on this time of night after all!
DeleteThen you MUST watch the season finale from this week! OMGOMGOMG, I think it was the best season finale I've seen in years!
ReplyDelete