To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.
-Steve Prefontaine
Make it simple, but significant.
- Don Draper

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

What's With the Bench Photos?

THE Bench - a few years later
Abby says I haven't shared the story of "The Bench Photos" yet, so here goes! If you've heard it before, well then take a shot... or 12 and enjoy it again!

The year was 2003. The setting was Walt Disney World in Florida, more specifically the Boardwalk and Jellyrolls. It was a Tuesday night. The Kali gang was at Jellyrolls, as per usual, although our gang had shrunk compared to the summer of 2002 when we owned that place. We had a high table in the back, on the lower floor, right in the center. My drink of choice ... Sex on the Beach. And it was the special! You could get the big 32 ounce cups for the "special" rate. It is entirely possible I had three. So to do the math, that is 96 ounces of Sex on the Beach that went into my body and I can tell you I most likely didn't have dinner that night.

I couldn't understand why one guy at our table kept looking at me. It drove me nuts. I kept asking Robin, "Why?? Why is he staring?" And I insisted to her that he was freaking me out because he looked like the Son of Sam and I didn't want him looking at me. (For the record he and I never had beef before or after. Last time we saw each other we still exchanged a hug.) Apparently Robin and the person I was married to decided it was time for me to go home. It was a work night after all. However, I was in party mode and not ready to leave. *Note to friends: If I am still in party mode don't just force me to leave. This story is what happens!*

Even Boston has benches!
I refused to walk with the person I was married to (this was normal. Obviously I chose to not be married to that person anymore) and kept a couple of paces back. Yeah, when I have too much to drink I can't see far in front of me. So basically I lost sight of Robin and X. (Let's just call him X for this post.) I knew the path to the parking lot. We had done it every Tuesday for over a year. I got to the parking lot and had no clue where the car was. So then kicks in my logic.

I'll just walk to the exit of the parking lot! They'll have to leave this way, so they'll have to see me! Brilliant! Nobody came. No way could I be moving faster than a car. So I decided to walk to the main intersection (Disney fans, I am now on the main road near the entrance to what was the Disney-MGM Studios). Surely we'd all meet up here! .... Nothing. I have my shoes in my hand, am in my black pants, and floral shirt walking barefoot in the middle of the night. Clearly the next best thing (oh yeah, my cell phone is in my car.) is to turn right and walk toward my house. Eventually I'd be on Osceola Parkway and close to home. X would HAVE to see me for sure!

Even races have benches!
The path then turned. I ended up down by some water. (runDisney fans, this is where you run during the marathon to get from the Studios to the Boardwalk to Epcot.) Soon I was behind Jellyrolls and the piano player saw me. "Hey R0nda! What the heck are you doing?" "I'm lost. My friends left me. I couldn't see them. I'm lost." "Do you want to come in?" "NO!! I don't want "A" to see me like this." Yes, drunk off my ass and I know at least to not let the cute piano player see me like that! So I continue on my way and end up in front of Jellyrolls. Again I turn down an offer to go inside and wait. I end up in the Boardwalk lobby area napping on that ginormous couch - you know the couch, right? But I know to stay on the move. I don't want to get caught being this drunk on property and get fired. So I keep moving from place to place napping.

And then I find a phone. I have no idea what my cell or home numbers are. But I DO know my mom's calling card number from dorm life, and I know my best friend's office number. Poor guy has to get to work in the morning, check his voice mails and hear silly drunk dials from all the girls, and then progressively worse calls of me crying saying I'm lost. I told him if I wasn't at work in the morning to come get me at the Boardwalk, that's where I'd be. After the last call I walk back toward Jellyrolls, my safe spot where I know everybody working there. V is on his cell with Robin (who was now at her apartment over near Vista Way - shout out Fall '97 College Program!). "Yeah, I see her. She's barefoot and crying, but she's walking this way. Tell him to come get her." (I totally just laughed having to type that!) I stumbled over and again said I can't come in. V says X is on his way and to stay put and stop moving all around.

Drunk on THE bench - again.
So I chose the bench. It has a lovely view of the water and looks right over to Epcot! I turned it into a bed, laid on my side and that's where I slept. Another Jellyrolls crew member came out and sat on me for a while until X showed up. Then I was tossed over X's shoulder and carried to the car and driven home. I was still tipsy at work in the morning and cut my back open on the cabinet of our water jug at the entrance to Kali. I think I went home early that day.

And that's my story of the bench! Ever since that night it has been a running joke. I can't pass that bench without a photo. But then it grew beyond Disney and now any cool bench I see has to be used in honor of my drunk summer night of 2003!


  1. Nice! I don't think I ever heard that one. . . or been to Jellyrolls! One day.

  2. I think I need a photo that I can repeat like this! It's funny to see all the benches you have graced :)

    1. Just don't go with my method and have a drunken night decide what photo to keep taking! ;)


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