To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.
-Steve Prefontaine
Make it simple, but significant.
- Don Draper

Friday, March 29, 2013

The Elephant in the Room

hat·ed, hat·ing, noun
verb (used with object)
to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest: to hate the enemy; to hate bigotry.
to be unwilling; dislike: I hate to do it.
verb (used without object)
to feel intense dislike, or extreme aversion or hostility.
intense dislike; extreme aversion or hostility.
the object of extreme aversion or hostility.

I remember once when I was a young girl, maybe 5 or 6 years old, my dad said I shouldn't say that I hate someone. He said it implies I wish they were dead. (At the time we were at a motel on the Oregon coast watching a James Bond movie and I said I hated the villain.) Well for the purposes of this post, nowhere in the dictionary definition of “hate” do I see anything about wanting someone dead.

So I can say it, because dammit, it’s MY blog and I can say whatever I want… I have feelings of hate in me for a couple people. I have a very intense dislike for people that I now consider the enemy.

Sometimes you (meaning I) just have to write to get it all out. So when this post seems just all “wtf”?? – that’s why!

A lovely woman was born back in the late 1950’s. She had two babies. The youngest one grew up and met a horrible person that wanted to alienate him from his family. The lovely woman tried to keep family ties strong. Instead of embracing everyone in his life, the son chose to be mean to his mom, handing over his balls to this new girl and changing into someone no one recognizes. The new couple, together, are a nasty pairing and people that don’t nobody wants to be around. This woman deliberately comes up with and executes plans just to be rude. There is no appeal.

This couple got so evil and true colors started coming out so much that the lovely woman couldn't take it anymore. On the last happy day I witnessed that happiness disappear for a while. I was there for the last straw. I had no idea that over the next two days the son would be so awful and push her beyond her limits. The horrible girl won the battle on that September morning when I lost that lovely woman in my life. Perhaps it has just gone unsaid since then, but flat out those of us that listened to the woman and saw the changes happening know the big reason WHY she is gone. And I will never forgive that reason why.

Last night that reason Why pushed the rest of us beyond our limits. The son that treated his mom so despicably since that girl appeared posted a facebook status. (Ah facebook – isn't it always involved in life’s drama these days?) His status indicated that he misses his mom and thinks of her every single day and that while he is off on his Walt Disney World honeymoon (Oh yeah, he’s marrying that cow that the entire family hates!!!), it won’t be the same without his mom. A friend posted a comment offering sympathy and support. And then you know what came next??? The cow posted “ha ha ha…. Babble babble babble.” Her words after “ha ha ha” don’t even matter. How dare you come into this family’s life, tear it apart, be vicious and nasty, be the final trigger to the lovely woman pulling a trigger, and now you say HA HA HA??? It’s funny that she is gone???

I had already done it, but this reassures my stance… family ties with that one son are severed. I need nothing to do with them. In a sense, although it ultimately was her decision, they took my aunt and Godmother away from me. All of my childhood memories, and frankly tons of my adult memories, too, are with her. So much laughter. She actually fell out of her seat on Star Tours in Disneyland! The seat belt stayed attached, but she was flailing around, laughing and snorting. OMG it was awesome! And that’s just one of so many memories. And now that’s all I have, memories. Is that new couple welcome in my life? No. Will they be told to leave if they dare arrive at my wedding reception? Oh heck, yes! Will I be going to their ridiculous ceremony? You can bet your life I won’t. I’m sure there is a race that day or something. I might have to wash my hair. Or watch a Housewives marathon on Bravo. But since you probably shouldn't have hate in your life then I wash my hands of them. These people are strangers to me. They want nothing to do with the family, so I will oblige and no longer know that young son. I will forever keep my memories of my dear aunt …. And frankly, I’m kind of a clone of her, according to the family, so she will live on through my sassy moments I suppose!

My aunt, my mom and myself.... "tanning" to prepare for another vacation together!


  1. So gross. Glad you got the bad energy out. I was just having a similar talk with my own family. Sorry so many people suck.

    1. It sure feels glad to just be like, "hey, losers, I'm done with ya!" I figure why fake being nice if there is something SO HUGE that is keeping you from even being able to be around somebody. Que sera sera!

  2. Wow...I have no words. That woman sounds horrible. I'm sad for your loss, too. :(

    1. Thank you, and really - we are being too kind calling her a woman. She's like 25 or something - and honestly when I met her I thought she was maybe 19? The maturity level is barely that of a fifteen year old. Ugh, I hate that cow.


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