If you are a huge Goonies fan like myself you'll recognize the title as a quote from Mikey Walsh, aka Sean Astin. As a lifelong Oregonian (minus that stint of a few years in Florida) I'm pretty much obsessed with Goonies. I'm shocked it too so long for me to get up to Astoria, in my adult years, to visit and stalk film locations! If I was motivated I'd find a photo, from when I looked even more like my Cabbage Patch Kid, outside of one location PRE-Goonies, but I'm feeling lazy....
I was in Astoria to run the Great Columbia Crossing 10K, but the real motivation to even bother driving that far to race was so I could have my own real-life Goonie adventure. The day before Man Friend and I camped ourselves out on a couch watching Goonies on this tv that was so amazing I felt like I was there. Seriously, I've never seen this movie in such high quality! I was more than ready and excited to go see THE house with my own eyes!
We arrived in Astoria an hour and a half before the sun came up, so I couldn't really do too much stalking. I did, however, find this little funny gem as I was sneaking into a hotel to use the bathroom.
So of course I was even more excited. This town was acknowledging the obsessed fans like myself! During the 10K I joked that I was running .... to get to One-Eyed Willy's rich stuff! Once the finish line was crossed I had one mission: change clothes and get to the jail!
Earlier I had taken screen shots of movie locations, so with my iPad and phone in hand I directed us to the right part of town. We rounded a corner and I saw this impressive house/museum. "Yes!! Cool!!" From here on out I'm just going to assume you've seen the greatest film ever created by man. This is where Mikey's dad is messing with the flag pole at the beginning of the movie during the police chase. This is also where my mom and I have a photo where I look like a cabbage patch and my mom looks like a girl barely old enough to drink!
It wouldn't be me to just take a photo and call it good. Oh no! Of course I HAD to go to the flagpole and act out the scene! 3...2...1... Action!
|Yes, I know - an Oscar is in my future!|
That was just an appetizer. I needed to get back to where we parked the car .... a few spots down from this ORV! (Off-road vehicle. Sheesh, I thought you saw the movie?!?!) That would be THE ORV from the movie!! I touched it!!
I enjoyed that they even had a gas can in the back -- you know, from the Fratelli brothers, of course!
I took it upon myself to do a close inspection, just as Chunk did... what to you know .... ORV, Bullet holes ... Bullet holes!!!!?????!!!!!
Bullet holes the size of matzo balls!
All of this was right outside of THE JAIL from the beginning of the movie, an actual former jail! I was so excited to go in - and the first thing you see....
Too cool!! We took photos of everything. I won't put them all here, because I'm nice like that. The entry room had cartoons of the main characters and random movie factoids. I couldn't resist reinacting the "don't I have a beautiful body?" scene. From there we checked out the jail. The walls had information about the actual jail history as well as tons of Goonies info. There were three cells in the hallway; one cell completely full of memorabilia like books, buttons, games, dolls, etc... The next cell was empty - we'll get to that in a second, and the third had Data's actual costume!
What I really needed to do, however, was start out the movie on my own.... "You schmuck, do you really think I'd be stupid enough to kill myself?"
Honestly, propping myself up like that (on my tiptoes) and "hanging" is probably the best acting I've ever done ... although I can, at times, get so dramatic with my over the top acting that I can almost make myself cry! That's usually reserved for more intense things like Titanic, Steel Magnolias and Romeo and Juliet. Anyway.....
I pondered my life in jail and decided that maybe I'll continue to be a law abiding citizen....
I'd say MF and I were pretty ridiculous and nearly like an 80s movie montage with our tons of mug shots with different poses. This was my favorite though!
The next thing we did was hit up the room with 3 green screens and act out some scenes. I did the Shining (Heeeeere's Johnny!!) and together we butchered a scene from Twilight, a movie I've never seen. The coolest part of that room was seeing real movie props from various Oregon films, but most notably from Goonies. The photos I've put in here include the wallet of Chester Copperpot, a Lou Gehrig, the doubloon, and that nifty thing that looks like a skull that they used in one of the booty traps. You mean booby traps. That's what I said! I'm setting booby traps. Sheesh, some guys. (Thank you, I call that acting!) Also the David statue is one used BEFORE his little boo-boo, clearly!
I was about to play the role of Mama Fratelli AND her sons during the big jail escape .... but a family came in and I wasn't brave enough to act out three parts in front of strangers. They actually did have cameras and screens for you to read the script and other cues on! They are supposed to be e-mailed to us some time, but the acting is sooo bad I told MF it will never be shared!
Before exiting I hit up the gift shop, where you can buy a Baby Ruth! I left with a lot and I am not ashamed to admit it! In this photo you can see my new sweatshirt that I am constantly wearing during my housewife hours!
The jail was the main course.... time for dessert!! Back in the car, we followed the map to the holy grail of Goonies fans...
Even seeing the sign gave me goose bumps!
|THE house!!!! It was like stepping back in time to 1985. I expected to see the Walsh brothers fighting and Mouth coming in with some witty comeback. Sadly, they didn't appear - but they were their via ME as I acted out way too many scenes!|
And it wouldn't be a trip to the house without playing the role of Mouth and forcing MF to do the Truffle Shuffle!! What a great sport!
I couldn't leave without a selfie of myself and the coolest house in the world!
So that was our trip .... a beautiful day of putting myself in my favorite movie and now forcing it upon all of you!
I'll back up to the jail and leave you with this.... Hey You Guys!!!