I Notice Everything

I notice everything. It's rather annoying. In college I realized I had to tally mark things as a way to mentally cope during class. Like the sorority chick behind me that would take 5 minutes to nibble on her Triscuit. I swear she took soooo many bites off of one tiny cracker. Or the guy that would snore at work in between his non-stop bouts of eating. At 9am he ate a full sized back of chips all by himself. The body sounds I heard from him were so vile. A friend and I once tracked a lady's shirts and noticed every Wednesday she would wear the shirt we referred to as the table cloth. I know exactly how long some people will spend in the bathroom at work. If you come around the corner I can just give you a look to tell you not to bother because there are still 6 minutes left. OR I can say it is almost free because I hear the toilet flush and so and so is a fast hand washer. So with that, here is some nonsense for today that I hold fast to.

1. Wash your damn hands!! If you don't, trust me I WILL know it. Trust me.

2. How appropriate that this is number two. Yep, I just made a poop joke. But when this empty roll has been sitting there for almost a week now - fair game. I can point out that you can sit and take a shit but not even throw away the empty roll into that garbage can that you can literally touch while taking said shit.

3.  That concludes today's observations.