March 10, 2015 All afternoon I've been staring out the window waiting for FedEx to arrive. My box was supposed to be here by noon; it was delivered at 4:38pm - after the FedEx guy passed my house a couple of times trying to find it. But the box is here. The box was massive and intimidating! It's my life starting March 21st.
It is again a bittersweet feeling. I was so relieved when I brought my box upstairs and opened it, but once I removed the welcome sheet and saw it all, I started to cry. My Grandpa was a pharmacist. I grew up at the pharmacy watching him and even helping prepare things for the local nursing homes. Here I am now about to embark on something so big and getting a 6 pound box from a specialty pharmacy. All I wanted to do was share it with him.
First thing I had to do was get the Follistim and Ovidrel into my new mini fridge. It kind of freaks me out that at this point I know those names without looking, and I know why and when I'll be using them. I'm my Grandpa's girl! Once those were safely nestled in the fridge I was back to my counter to go through the box. Oh my. It was overwhelming. So much stuff is waiting for me.
My package has a Sharps container for my used needles, a HUGE supply of syringes, Menopur, Ganirelix, Progesterone, my Follistim pen (injection pen, not a writing utensil, although it would have been nice to get a free pen and note pad at least!) and a freaking enema?? Good lord, the things I do for my future child! I opened that box to see what I was in store for and frankly, I am more scared of that than I am of the 3 shots a day in my tummy and possible weeks of shots of Progesterone in my ass!!
It's been a week now since I gave my Grandpa his very last living kiss. Again I have to keep telling myself that one door has closed so that one can open, and I really hope the one opening is for my baby. I talked to OHSU yesterday about things going on with my body post-Grandpa's passing. They said I am okay to proceed but did give me the option of letting this month go and starting over fresh a later time while I grieve. I can tell you Grandpa would not want me to do that, and I happily told my nurse that I was ready to continue as planned. IVF might seem scary to some (my mom!) and a lot to take in, which is all probably accurate, but it is the happy thing that is keeping me going during this incredibly hard time!
|Official day 1!!!||Phone call to OHSU||Grandpa :(||Prescriptions set!||Protocol arrived|
|to get it started!||in the mail|
|Birth Control Pills||Got my protocol|
|Last birth control pill||Suppression check||Injections begin|
|Status check #1|