I Miss MY Pharmacist

March 10, 2015  All afternoon I've been staring out the window waiting for FedEx to arrive. My box was supposed to be here by noon; it was delivered at 4:38pm - after the FedEx guy passed my house a couple of times trying to find it. But the box is here. The box was massive and intimidating! It's my life starting March 21st. 

It is again a bittersweet feeling. I was so relieved when I brought my box upstairs and opened it, but once I removed the welcome sheet and saw it all, I started to cry. My Grandpa was a pharmacist. I grew up at the pharmacy watching him and even helping prepare things for the local nursing homes. Here I am now about to embark on something so big and getting a 6 pound box from a specialty pharmacy. All I wanted to do was share it with him.

First thing I had to do was get the Follistim and Ovidrel into my new mini fridge. It kind of freaks me out that at this point I know those names without looking, and I know why and when I'll be using them. I'm my Grandpa's girl! Once those were safely nestled in the fridge I was back to my counter to go through the box. Oh my. It was overwhelming. So much stuff is waiting for me.  

My package has a Sharps container for my used needles, a HUGE supply of syringes, Menopur, Ganirelix, Progesterone, my Follistim pen (injection pen, not a writing utensil, although it would have been nice to get a free pen and note pad at least!) and a freaking enema?? Good lord, the things I do for my future child! I opened that box to see what I was in store for and frankly, I am more scared of that than I am of the 3 shots a day in my tummy and possible weeks of shots of Progesterone in my ass!! 

It's been a week now since I gave my Grandpa his very last living kiss. Again I have to keep telling myself that one door has closed so that one can open, and I really hope the one opening is for my baby. I talked to OHSU yesterday about things going on with my body post-Grandpa's passing. They said I am okay to proceed but did give me the option of letting this month go and starting over fresh a later time while I grieve. I can tell you Grandpa would not want me to do that, and I happily told my nurse that I was ready to continue as planned. IVF might seem scary to some (my mom!) and a lot to take in, which is all probably accurate, but it is the happy thing that is keeping me going during this incredibly hard time!

MARCH 2015
Sunday		Monday		Tuesday		Wednesday		Thursday		Friday		Saturday
1		2		3		4		5		6		7
Official day 1!!!		Phone call to OHSU		Grandpa :(		Prescriptions set!						Protocol arrived
		to get it started!										in the mail
Birth Control Pills				Got my protocol
8		9		10		11		12		13		14
				Prescriptions arrive
15		16		17		18		19		20		21
				Last birth control pill		Suppression check						Injections begin
22		23		24		25		26		27		28
				Status check #1
29		30		31