February 6, 2015 As I write this I have no idea if or when anybody will ever see this. Today is the official start of something I certainly never expected. I don't think anybody plans this or thinks it will be the course they take in life, but here it is.
|IVF Officially Begins!|
Yesterday I knew I was going to OHSU for a consultation with the best doctors in the state. And today, that consultation turned into the beginning of what I can only imagine is going to be a scary, exciting, emotional, confusing, roller coaster of a ride. Today I began the process of In Vitro Fertilization.
I've decided to write about this experience. Maybe some day someone will want advice. Maybe some day my future child will want to know more about how medical experts were able to do things that blow my mind, and helped us make our family. Maybe some day I will actually share this post!
For nearly two years we have failed at trying to make a baby the cheap old fashioned way. Of course some unhealthy, alcoholic, drug addicted women end up creating humans with no effort at all. Meanwhile I run, pay attention to what I eat, have been taking prenatal vitamins and trying to be a healthy person to prepare for a baby..... and I can't do it. Life is certainly not fair! But thanks to modern medicine, I finally feel a sense of optimism and hope. It is entirely possible that I could finally be a mom to a human and not just my little fur balls!
So after maybe 4 hours of restless sleep I was up and arriving at OHSU to meet with Dr. Wu. I had no idea what to expect. It was a consultation to discuss options and find out if I am healthy enough and actually able to make a child. After two top doctors in the state discussed things and a lot of talk about my family history and Man Friend's history it actually became easy. Instead of having to decide a route to take, we only have one option of having our own baby, In Vitro Fertilization.
It was almost like an out of body experience. My new doctor, my husband and I sat around a desk with diagrams and time lines. Pros and cons. Potential risks. Percentages. The whole process. We covered everything. Usually you leave a doctor feeling like you were just another body in and out really quick and not feeling like you were listened to .... not this time. We were able to ask questions, get good answers and were spoken to like normal people versus medical jargon that might have gone over our heads. I left actually not feeling scared.... and very shocked at how quick things were set in motion.
Man Friend and I always thought IVF was a very long drawn out process. Well maybe Mother Nature was helping me out today because I was at the exact perfect day in my cycle to actually START!!! After my meeting with the doctor I was given a very thick packet of more info I have yet to review. (I'm giving myself a night off from studying!!) Next stop was the Finance lady, Elaine. Not gonna lie, when they say IVF is expensive, they weren't lying. I am very private about my finances so I'm not going to talk money here. But this consult made us realize it IS doable and while expensive, the result will be worth it and we can do this without having to sell a kidney. You know how you decide you want to buy the car, so then they send you in the other room to go over the breakdown? That's what this was! I had been on the verge of tears all week -- and this was the point where I was sure they were going to happen, but they didn't!
But let me tell you - this stuff is fascinating. I'll talk about it more in detail in other posts after getting results. But wow. I feel kind of lucky to be able to benefit from this crazy technology. I can hardly fathom how much info they are getting just from taking some blood. And this is the first step that will help us determine some things next week.
In the car we finally had some time alone. Nearly 3 hours after our appointment started, there we were, together, letting it all sink in. The out of body experience was becoming real. Our drive home was non-stop talking. All of it about our baby and the process of creation. We are both excited and going into this with a positive attitude. We can't afford to have any doubts in our heads. My body is about to go through some crazy stuff, and I will share that as it goes along. My emotions are probably going to go through even crazier things. It's already been a tough week leading up to today, but I'm using running and reading and anything else to try to just relax and prepare. I'm so excited that I don't have to wait to start --- this is in motion and I am ready!