To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.
-Steve Prefontaine
Make it simple, but significant.
- Don Draper

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

A New Way of Life

May 24, 2015 Yesterday I went to Canada. That probably sounds random, and quite frankly it was! I needed an IVF vacation. Life had been getting to be too much overall and I wanted a mental holiday. I wanted to go some place new where I could just relax and get away from real life for a while. I toyed with the Redwoods, Lake Tahoe, Astoria, San Francisco. Nothing felt right. I wanted something new. The result was a wonderful long Memorial Day weekend visiting my adorable father-in-law in Soap Lake, Washington and taking a day trip up to Osoyoos, BC, Canada!

It was just what the doctor ordered! Man Friend and I went to a pub on Lake Osoyoos for some lunch and I felt this whole new sense of freedom. We could openly talk with each other about IVF, how it's been, how it will be, what's happening next. Absolutely nobody knew us in this small town, and I never even saw another vehicle with a license plate from the USA! It was safe!

But leaving the country doesn't mean I get to leave behind IVF. It was during this road trip that I realized I pretty much have a new way of life. Since February I have been living by a calendar. A full schedule of medications and specific times that I take them. I couldn't just go to visit the Great White North and pretend IVF wasn't still my life. (And let me interrupt myself --- sure Canada has been nicknamed the Great White North... yeah, the only white snow I saw was very far away up on the top of some mountains in the distance. It was HOT. Dry. HOT!!)

My life now, when leaving my house, involves figuring out my game plan and when I will be home. If it clashes with drug time then I have to pack medicine with me. Would Canada have an issue with me bringing a stash of syringes and drugs into their country?? As per usual I had it in Grandpa's little cooler (no ice, it just travels well and is the perfect size!) in the back seat. At the border going IN to Canada I had my blanket tossed over it to hopefully avoid suspicion. The blanket toss worked! Leaving the country and coming back to the USofA I had moved a lot of things into the trunk. The morning's border guard was so Canadian and nice; without even talking to him we could tell the return guard was American. He had us remove sunglasses (mine were off already because I studied and arrived prepared!), hats and shut off the car. Whoa. This guard was shocked we hadn't bought any duty free alcohol and gave me a funny look when I said I was leaving with a Canadian flag and a t-shirt. "Open your trunk." he said. Nervous is how I felt.  Fortunately I had no reason to be nervous. He clearly saw we were a strange duo that really did just make a huge road trip to go to a different country for only a few hours. We were sent on our way and I felt success on not having to explain any medications.

Going to Canada we went one route, on the way home to Soap Lake we took a different. The route was very rural. No cell service. No cities. A couple of viewpoints to pull off at. And this rest area.... See photo below.

Looks pretty clean and unique with that statue, right? The whole drive we basically traveled through tribal lands, which made this rest stop feel very appropriate. We were only at this stop because we had filled up at the Chevron a block after and I refused to even go inside of it to see if they had a bathroom. Back to this building we came. Uh, both doors were locked. No access.  It was in this parking lot, using my sterilizing pads to wash my hands, that I had to shoot up with the Lupron. Sad that it's getting to be normal for me to just inject drugs into my stomach while in the car. The day before it was also at a gas station, but at least one where I could go inside to wash my hands first!

So this is my life right now. Alarms going off to remind me when to take my pills. An alarm to tell me when to inject drugs. Always carrying them with me and trying to conceal what I have. My stomach is starting to feel more and more sore with each shot. I've lost track of how many injections I've given myself now. But it also just feels normal. This is my new normal! It is very routine and in all of these months I've yet to miss or be late with any of it. Hopefully it will all pay off!

MAY 2015
Begin Lupron injectionsLupron
Last birth control pill
Run Track Town 5K
LupronLupronLupronLupronLupronUltrasound/blood workBegin Estrace pills
Estrace: M
Rock'n'Roll 10K
Estrace: MEstrace: M Estrace: M Estrace: M Estrace: M EEstrace: M EEstrace: M E
LupronLupronLupronLupronLupronUltrasoundProgesterone injections
Estrace: M EEstrace: M N EEstrace: M N EEstrace: M N EEstrace: M N EEstrace: M EEstrace: M E
Progesterone ProgesteroneM: Morning N: Noon E: Evening
Estrace: M EEstrace: M E

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