To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.
-Steve Prefontaine
Make it simple, but significant.
- Don Draper

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Week 38: I Am Still Pregnant. And Tired.

Once upon a time, back in June, I had to suffer through the Two-Week Wait, aka the time we women spend waiting to either find out we are pregnant or get our period. Well here I am, in January (now February), and feeling like I am in the two week wait yet again... this time, however, waiting for that baby to get here!

Knowing I'm at least 2 centimeters dilated and less than 3 weeks away, I feel so anxious. Anxious, excited, nervous, antsy, eager, all the emotions!

During the two-week wait, from what I've read, I'm not the only one that spent a lot of time googling and reading forums where other people are all in the same boat. That's happening again! If something feels off, or different, or new then I have to google. The crazy thing is that no matter how strange that I google might be, as it turns out tons of other women have googled and posted about it, too! Sudden random breakouts? They're talking about it. Nausea? That's there. Insomnia? I'm not alone. Looking for any clues as to when the baby will arrive? Everybody wants to know!

And that's the hard part I guess. It's like maternity leave.... I know I'm going to be missing work, but WHEN? It's like having a vacation on the books except you won't know when the vacation starts until it's already happening. I've found myself nesting at work, trying to get everything up to date, clean, organized and easy for anyone else to be able to pick up where I left off. But yet NO CLUE when this will all happen.

Man Friend pointed out it does NOT say
This is what is frustrating. Physically I am fine. Any changes aren't bothering me, but the mental part is making me tired. One day I'd feel like labor must be coming up this week. Then the next it feels like I'll be pregnant for 3 more months. I had two uneventful doctor's appointments. She slept through them all, and I did register some non-painful contractions. Lamaze happened, which I wrote about here. Basically this week has been all about mental stress and insomnia. Sleep and I don't mingle anymore. Some nights I was up wandering around, sometimes drinking water, showering, testing different places to sleep, listening to music. You name it, I probably did it.

The week has ended with some awkward pains, contraction timing, walking with Man Friend and doing Lamaze breathing while just trying to relax.... still wondering ... is this the build up??  So now I'm feeling very anti-social. I just want to be left alone to be quiet, not harassed, I don't to hear continual comments about my body and people's opinions of it. I want to be a hermit and wait for this little girl to come out!

**Basically I wrote a bunch of this early in the week. Then went to finish it today and am just blah. I get a free pass I think. Now back to my contractions.....

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