Race Fails.

I know most of my readers came along to this blog during my posts about IVF and then being pregnant. Well, before that this had a lot of content about running! I won’t dare suggest you go read any of those. I mean if you’re ever curious, at the top is a link to all of my race reports through the years. Those are more interesting than normal training blogs. Anyway, to welcome you to running posts, I thought I’d do a little montage (in writing) of some of my experiences. Will it be multiple posts? I don’t know yet. But today I’ll be sharing some of my epically BAD moments! Huh? Yeah, it’s not all glamorous in running. But I have yet to pee or poop myself, so there is time for it to get worse!

In no order at all:

Corvallis Half Marathon 2011: my 2nd half marathon, 1st by myself. First running fail of the day: all of my music was wiped off of my iPod. 13.1 miles with no music and no conversation. On the course I enjoyed myself but started having vertigo issues. Not sure what was going on, I kept drinking. And drinking. And drinking. I approached Reser Stadium, happily planning to let the girl in front of me have the win. But then she dared to turn and look at me and speed up. What?? I was letting you have it! But not now! I always practice a finishing kick, so I kicked it into gear and crossed the finish at the 50 yard line before her. Win for me! And then I had to dive to the garbage can and proceed to puke up andobscene amount of water from all of those stops I visited trying to feel better on the course. This wasn’t the last time I would throw up at the finish line.

Las Vegas Rock’n’Roll Half Marathon 2011: This fail isn’t all my fault. This run became notoriously talked about in the running community. Everyone was getting sick. It was like a war zone inside Mandalay Bay with people on the ground and EMTs everywhere. The carpet was stained from vomit. It was just chaos... and chaos I didn’t escape. I went to back check to get my bag, which they never did hand me, and I felt so off. I could see the bathroom off in the distance and as I tried to get there I paused, looked around, a girl asked if I was okay, and down I went. I was on a pile of space blankets by the garbage can. Nancy, a volunteer, rushed to me to give me some packets of salt and a banana. Eventually I got up and met my friend as she crossed the finish line. And they ran out of medals before she could even get hers. So many fails!

I loved the timing of this photo because it is outside of Circus Circus. This race outfit was inspired by Circus Circus with the color and print design! Yes, I have put a lot of thought into race outfits.

Portland Half Marathon 2011: I almost forgot this one! I was in the zone during this race and set a PR (since broken many times) that day. I ran it so hard at the end that as soon as I crossed, you guessed it, I was sick into a garbage can. Before I knew it, a space blanket was being wrapped around me and I was pretty much carried into the medical tent and put on a bed. I couldn’t even leave until a doctor gave the okay. They have me juice as I recall. I saw scary things in that tent. Marathon runners with their eyes rolling back and bodies all stiff. Yeah, running isn’t always pretty or easy, especially on race day!!

Portland Marathon 2012: Okay so this was my first marathon so I can’t really say anything bad or that I failed. But my left knee buckled around mile 17.5 on the St John’s Bridge. I sucked it up for the camera! (photo below) And then a mile later my right knee buckled. I had been kicking serious ass prior to that. The last 10k was brutally painful. I hated to walk but I had to. In some photos where I tried to run I had full tears going down my face. I ran across the finish line though. Never will I walk over a finish line. 26.2 miles done and done!

I DID buy this photo!

This is one where I am completely in tears and fake smiling for the camera. Last downhill of the course, only a short way to the finish. This was shortly after Shawn offered to carry me. Downhill was the WORST after the injuries!

Walt Disney World Marathon 2013: I did the 5k ok Friday, Half Marathon on Saturday and finished with the Marathon on Sunday. Again this race was such a total win!! My costume was freaking awesome. It was simple but fun. BUT it was cotton. I never run in cotton. But we had our vision and this is what it took to pull it off. That race had heat warnings. And there I was, doing 27.1 miles in major heat and humidity in my cotton T-shirt and cape! I was dripping with sweat, but the photos were worth it! (27.1 miles because we were zig zagging to hit all the photo stops and that added nearly an entire extra mile!)

This got long! Eugene Holiday Half 2012: Nothing big here. My foot started bleeding. I bled through my shoe. But it was so cold I couldn’t feel it anyway!

Shamrock 15K 2011: Just as I started the big climb I got so dizzy I ran right into someone. Well, two girls. No joke. This photo is blurry - which is fitting since that race was all blurry to me!

Ooh let’s end on this even though I could keep going. Disneyland 10K 2013: This was race #1 of the Dumbo Double Dare. As we do, Shawn and I spent time creating our costumes. He gets credit for all the sewing. I mean I bought his wig and boot covers, but that Gaston shirt was home made my him! And he fixed my hair that morning which you can’t really see in these photos. We were Belle and Gaston, again committed to our costumes and staying in character during a ridiculously hot race. Oh yeah, we do tend to take on a role when we race in costumes. It’s fun that way! Anyway, it was so hot... and the smells in Downtown Disney from the restaurants... and the vertigo from my Ménière’s Disease.... it all built up. We crossed the finish line and I almost went down. What did Disney do?? They freaking hooked me up with a wheel chair, which was a blogging dream. I mean who would expect I’d get this photo op at a race?? A fail but also a major win!

That's all for now. Trust me, I could have kept going. With as many races as I have done, and training runs, too.... this could go on forever. Like the time I tripped in front of Fred Meyer and fell ON MY FACE... but we can save that for another time.