In the event of my untimely passing during my upcoming trip to Orlando, I am leaving behind this informal will. Trust that I DO plan on hanging out in ghost-like form when I am gone, so if this isn’t followed, I WILL KNOW! (Is this morbid? This all started because my mom had to write down serious things just in case something really does happen. And every single time I fly I always hope it’s not my last time seeing people. So I’m just thinking about it in case my luck in the friendly skies runs out.)
Mommy: She gets first dibs on everything. If she and I “go” together, Jim can get first dibs in her place. Since I am confident he will only be interested in my gardening/yard work type tools, I feel safe in continuing on with writing my will (in alphabetical order so as not to play favorites, although my “children” and Grandpa will go first because I AM playing favorites!)……
Tinker Bell: My oldest daughter gets my baby blanket. She will be delicate with it and love it as much as I do. (Tinker and Lady will be moving in with Grandpa Jim, fyi.) (They are not allowed to have people food, and Tinker is NOT allowed outside!)
Lady: My youngest daughter gets my Margaritaville blanket – and any other blankets she wants. The two girls DO share when they have to, so they can decide amongst each other who will get what.
Grandpa: I have a spare VCR/DVD player. I would like someone to hook that up to Grandpa’s new tv for him. So then he will also get all of my seasons of NCIS that I have on DVD. If someone could also teach him how to get that going, that would be great!
Alex and Daniel: I leave you two my entire Queer as Folk collection! Every time you watch and see Ted involved in anything involving nudity, and then get grossed out – just know that I will be on the couch next to you (in ghost form) also wanting to vomit! Seriously – why did they give that guy ANY sex scenes??
Arwyn: She can have my curlers. They are practically brand new and hardly ever used since I have way too much hair to regularly throw up into curls. You can use those to curl anybody you want. Please try to curl Tonia’s hair. I will be up on my little cloud watching and waiting to see how that turns out!
Brian Davis: I would like Brian to have my fight song playing Benny Beaver. He would appreciate that in his own little way! I think its how he would like to remember me. His family doesn’t yet have a Wii, so I’d like them to have mine.
Brian Wayne: Only someone in central Florida fully appreciate how awesome and convenient my Flip video camera could be. I’m leaving mine to Brian so he can use it to capture those truly unique moments with the locals – particularly the drunk locals missing teeth and unsure of their gender identity at Halloween Horror Nights!
Char: I’d like to leave Char my laptop. She needs to experience the joy of sprawling on the couch with a dog at your side while harvesting your farm and tending to other necessities on Facebook!
Christine: My dear cousin will of course get my super rad old school Blazers jacket! Wear that with pride, honey!
Clark: Sparky knows what I’d leave him….. except I don’t actually own one/any! But I leave it to you in spirit!
My Dad: Fins up! My entire stash of Jimmy Buffet books and CDs will come back to you. That’ll help liven up any Ohio night!
Deb: I leave Deb my L Word collection. Enjoy!
Debbie: She, too, is a Nintendo DS owner – so I’m leaving her all of my games. She also gets my DS so her cute little grandson can play with her, too.
Esther: I have left Esther my whistle. It’s the whistle that lights up and is on a tie-dyed string. I like to use it at work when I am in charge. She gets to take my place as the obnoxious one – only IF I don’t make it back.
Heather Rae: I don’t really have stuff that Heather would want I don’t think. But what I do have is Barbies! A ton of them! I leave all of my Barbies, their clothes, cars, pools, dream house, all of it …. To Bailey, Carly and Annie! Oh, I have Halloween candy from last year …. I have been saving that for Heather! You can have it now –but only in the even of my death. If I don’t die, you have to wait until October to get it.
Jason: After Ginny gets caught up on the Dark Shadow discs, these will be passed on to you! Once in a while when you watch, please having some of blooper drinking game in my honor!
Jessica: To my dear friend Jessica goes my entire collection of totes! I know that she will be the only one to truly appreciate them. I also leave her my Hannibal Lecter doll. She gave him to me, and if he can’t be with me, she really is the rightful caretaker. I would also like to leave her my red iPod and Nike+ sensor so she, too, can enjoy the freedom and fresh air of running outdoors! Taking a chapter out of the book of Jessica, she gets first pick on all of my DVDs. If you want my blu-ray player, that’s yours too! My past issues of the T.A.P.S. magazine go to Jessica – as well all of my Ghost Hunters DVDs.
Kori: Kori can have my work ear plugs! My lipstick and other fun make-up will go to her, too. Ashley loves that stuff and her dad won’t let her have it --- so I am her hook-up. I’m like a drug dealer for make-up. They will also get my movies that little girls would like …. Charlotte’s Web, Mary Poppins, Sleeping Beauty, etc... If I don’t make it home (but my mom does) with the cookies I am buying in Florida, I would like them to be split up between Kori and Jessica.
Michael Clifford: Seeing as he is the biggest Disney fan I know, he gets first pick on all of my Disney things – and trust me, there are some pretty cool things in that stash! Naturally he also gets possession of my Princess ½ Marathon Weekend tiara, that’s just a given! He can also have my old Batman cards!
Michael Rutten: I am leaving Michael my “fancy” camera. He loves to use that thing and I know he would take good care of it. My smaller, easier to use camera will go to my mom and/or Jim. He can also have my black and red iPod. He loves to listen to music so much that I can’t believe he doesn’t have one already! I feel like I should leave Michael something else... You can have my flask!! Also, I’d like you to have my ghost type DVDs since you are also really into that stuff like I am. Since I’ll be a ghost by the time you inherit these things, I’ll once in a while float by and mess up your hair so you’ll know I’m around!
My Family: The family members that haven’t lost their minds and know that our family roots lie at Oregon State University may divvy up my OSU things as they deemed fit! If Alex ever decides to study business or psychology as a minor, or major, he can have any of my old text books that he wants! Do they still use graphing calculators? Is that what we called them? Those big fat ones that you can type notes into? Anyway – he can have that, too. I found it super helpful at OSU, but then again that was nearly a decade ago and maybe my “tools” are now obsolete. With that being said, if Alex doesn’t have his own computer, he can have mine. And my printer. I don’t want him to ever have to use a dot matrix printer while living in a dorm. Trust me – it is humiliating!!
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There are other things that might be up for grabs – like my new TV, my bed, (my mom has already claimed the headboard, so don’t get your hopes up on that one!) etc…. If things need to just be sold off, I’d like the proceeds to go to help the animals at Saving Grace Animal Shelter. They took care of my Lady before she joined my home, and I would like for them to keep giving animals a nice temporary home before they find their own permanent homes!
At my memorial, (and you better have one for me, dammit!!) it is my wish for people to smile … but I want tears, too! And I insist the Unbirthday Song be played as well. I feel like my Kali River Rapids hat should make an appearance. That little ride ended up having such a major impact on my life …. and helped spawn my e-mail and screen names, so it seems fitting that it be present.