My Epiphany: I Don't HAVE to PR

I have been totally stressing. I haven't run since Saturday. I guess to some that doesn't seem like the end of the world. But for me it did. I even slept in all of my running attire last night - minus the shoes and socks - with the hopes of feeling well enough to run at 5:30 a.m.  The run didn't happen. 

I've been in this epic battle with myself. Do I suck it up and run dizzy  in the heat - and not even do a good job at it. Or do I stay cautious and not risk killing myself during this nasty Meniere's episode I've been having.  I did try to run two days. They felt so good, but not anything spectacular.

The Prefontaine 10K is officially less than a month now. I've been flipping out wondering how I can feel prepared to run basically a 6.2 mile uphill course over at the Oregon coast where there will no doubt be some major wind to deal with. This race has been my big goal. It is the one race I really wanted to succeed at. How can that be if I can't even feel stable enough on my feet to run around the block. Heck, I have been so dizzy this last week there are times I can barely speak. My stupid Meniere's induced stutter is totally getting on my nerves. Good thing I don't talk while I run!

So this morning I realized that I don't need to feel pressure. I have zero chance of winning. There is nothing to lose or gain by doing this race. The only pressure on me is what I've done to myself over the last few months. Who cares if I end up having to walk a bit during the race? Are people REALLY going to judge me? I doubt it. Doesn't everybody at one point have their bad race or have those days when running just isn't an option even if their mind wants to do it?

I guess I am feeling a sense of relief now. I just removed the pressure from myself. Now I'm just going to go there, do the best that I can, have fun and enjoy the spirit of the day ... which is all of us coming together to honor the spirit of Steve Prefontaine in his home town on his home turf. Really, I can't ask for more than that!