To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.
-Steve Prefontaine
Make it simple, but significant.
- Don Draper

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

It's Taking Its Toll

May 7, 2015   Well at least the countdown is less than a month now! Halle-freaking-lujah! My IVF journey started February 6th. Our whole journey at trying to have a baby started two years ago. This process might seem quick (February to May so far) but its far from it. Every day feels like a week. I've been pretty much on a variety of drugs for over 2 months now. Emotionally and physically it is taking its toll. 

Since starting Lupron a week ago I haven't slept well at all. My best sleep came today at nap time, during which I was lulled to sleep by chainsaws trimming trees outside my bedroom. Not kidding, it really did lull me to sleep just like Grandpa's snores always did! At night I try to sleep and wake up soaked with sweat, having to change my shirt each time. My dreams are completely bizarre and vivid. At least once a day I feel nauseated. I'm constantly feeling like I am going to just collapse and pass out. I think with the stress of In Vitro Fertilization for 3+ months now, it's just all taking its toll on me in every way. I'm spent. 

I have been trying so hard to remain "normal". I texted my BFF yesterday to ask if I've been moody. Without a pause he responded with am emphatic yes! I had to laugh and apologize, and realized that I talk to him more than anybody else, and we have no filters - so if my mood does change it would make sense that he would notice.  Poor guy, I'm lucky he puts up with me! Pretty much right now everything that would normally annoy me hits a chord and is extra irritating. I've been spending my days at work just biting my tongue. Today I thought I did a good job of putting on a fake smile when a coworker excitedly rushed over to show me an ultrasound her nephew just sent as he was announcing he is going to be a dad. Ugh, just what someone going through IVF really wants to see, right??

So anyway, I'm spent. I just want June 5th to get here. Or even next Friday when I get to finally go back to OHSU again. Who would expect I would miss seeing the wonderful team at OHSU and miss my appointments and ultrasounds?!?! 

MAY 2015
Begin Lupron injectionsLupron
Last birth control pill
LupronLupronLupronLupronLupronUltrasound/blood workBegin Estrace pills
Estrace: M
Estrace: MEstrace: M Estrace: M Estrace: M Estrace: M EEstrace: M EEstrace: M E
LupronLupronLupronLupronLupronUltrasoundProgesterone injections
Estrace: M EEstrace: M N EEstrace: M N EEstrace: M N EEstrace: M N EEstrace: M EEstrace: M E
Progesterone ProgesteroneM: Morning N: Noon E: Evening
Estrace: M EEstrace: M E

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