April 7, 2015 This day is dragging on. I'm waiting for my phone call from the IVF doctor on duty so I can hear how my embryos are doing and how many of them are left. Crossing my fingers for good news, obviously! While I've been patiently waiting, I've been thinking of how emotionally difficult this process is. I hate feeling like I'm lying to my friends (that's you, Chanelle!) when technically I am not. I've never once denied why I am going to the doctor a lot and I've never once said it was for anything other than what it is. I just sort of leave out enough info that it stays vague and everybody can just assume.
It is interesting how when going through fertility issues you notice comments people make, or the flat out nosy questions from people that don't really have any place asking. From the moment I got married 2 years ago I've had so many questions of when are you having a baby? Why haven't you had one yet? Even people just assuming and telling me I don't want one, as if they know my inner wants. Such a personal thing, really, yet most people seem to feel it is their business. Then sometimes you get those joking around, like today.... a coworker said to me in a completely innocent manner, "Don't have kids!" I sometimes wonder what the reaction would be if I just came out in the open and said, "Hey, I AM trying to have a baby. I've BEEN trying to have a baby. I CAN'T have a baby without help. I inject medicine into my body and am watching and feeling it change all in the hopes of using medical science to help me make a baby." I imagine it would be disbelief, shock, no doubt a slew of gossip behind my back. So instead I text with my BFF about it and write on this blog in secret. It really sucks, but we've weighed the stress of having it public versus private - and private is the way to go.
It is interesting how when going through fertility issues you notice comments people make, or the flat out nosy questions from people that don't really have any place asking. From the moment I got married 2 years ago I've had so many questions of when are you having a baby? Why haven't you had one yet? Even people just assuming and telling me I don't want one, as if they know my inner wants. Such a personal thing, really, yet most people seem to feel it is their business. Then sometimes you get those joking around, like today.... a coworker said to me in a completely innocent manner, "Don't have kids!" I sometimes wonder what the reaction would be if I just came out in the open and said, "Hey, I AM trying to have a baby. I've BEEN trying to have a baby. I CAN'T have a baby without help. I inject medicine into my body and am watching and feeling it change all in the hopes of using medical science to help me make a baby." I imagine it would be disbelief, shock, no doubt a slew of gossip behind my back. So instead I text with my BFF about it and write on this blog in secret. It really sucks, but we've weighed the stress of having it public versus private - and private is the way to go.
I still feel optimistic that I will get the ultimate positive result Man Friend and I have been hoping for. I've been following every direction I've been given. I haven't had a drop of alcohol (by choice, not instruction), I haven't done any running, I have kept myself relaxed, I've properly administered TEN different medications (so far) to myself since this started. If being the perfect patient would assure you'd get a baby, well I'll have one in my arms in less than a year... if only! But for now I just keep waiting and doing what I'm told. Now, if only I could get my phone to ring and have it say OHSU Fertility Clinic on it!! For your daily dose of IVF education courtesy of me, I found the image to the left while googling. That shows the basics of the procedure I had last week to remove the eggs. I vividly remember seeing that suction machine while waiting for the doctor to come into the room, as well as that tube that has the needle in it. So there you go, needles where we women do NOT want them, going in to suck out eggs ... just in time for Easter! (**HA!, I did share this after all!)
A 2:34pm my phone call came! This time it was Dr. Patton, whom I had for one of my early ultrasounds. He told me he had some good news for me, which automatically woke me from my sleepy state and made me giddy. The doctor told me that as of today I have 3 frozen embryos, and will probably have more frozen tomorrow! I sought clarification just so I would understand, and he confirmed that means they are now in the blastocyst stage --- they are done with all of that cell dividing we learned about in school and are ready to come make a home in my uterus! Because I am full of education today, I have included photos below to show the way my eggs began (oocyte) and the way the 3 frozen ones are now (blastocyst). Tomorrow I should get another phone call with the final status of my remaining embryos. I hope we are able to freeze 3 or more tomorrow. The more the merrier in my case!!
| APRIL 2015 | |||||||||||||
| Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | Saturday | |||||||
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | ||||||||||
| Egg retrieval 9am | Phone appointment | ||||||||||||
| (10 eggs) | (10 embryos) | ||||||||||||
| 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | |||||||
| Phone appointment | Phone appointment | ||||||||||||
| (9 embryos) | (3 frozen embryos) | ||||||||||||
| 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | |||||||
| 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | |||||||
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | |||||||||
It will all work out ignore the bad embrace the good
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